The 12 Stages Of Candy Crush Addiction

The biggest app right now will take over your life.

Candy Crush Saga is a match-three game in the manner of ‘Bejeweled’. It is currently the highest grossing app in the App Store, and the biggest app on Facebook.

It will also take over your entire life.

1. Anticipation.

You’ve heard a lot about Candy Crush Saga . You’re excited. The sugary theme tune rings in your ears. You even hum along.

2. Delight

1st level. Swap candies to make rows of three or more. Easy! You are King of the Candies!

3. Elation

Nailed it.

4. Anxiety

As the levels go on, things become trickier. Nothing you can’t handle though. Although who wants candy with fruit in it?

5. Panic

Then things begin to get dark. Impenetrable jelly cubes are introduced. Who puts jelly in a cage?

6. Bargaining

Timers come into play, and the game tempts you with buy-outs. You stand strong, but also think of all the candy you could crush with that paintbrush.

7. Despair

Levels seem unconquerable. Where’s the black disco candy when you need it?

8. Shame

The little girl begins to cry. Stop crying, little girl! Please! Stop crying!

9. Anger

WTF, you’re locked out? Let me back in!

10. Jealousy

You wait an agonizing twenty minutes, coveting the candy of others.

11. Paranoia

When you’re locked out, all you can see around you is candy.

12. Relief

And then, you’re back. CANDY CRUSH.

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