40 Reasons Scotland Is Better Than England

Sorry, Sassenachs. This is just fact.

1. Irn Bru everywhere. On draught. In McDonald’s. In the corner shop. Bru!

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2. You can keep Blackpool Pier, we’ve got the actual Northern Lights.

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3. And we’ve got a magic road.

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4. Scotland has proper snow, every winter.

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5. Yeah, we get real weather.

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6. You have the option of chippy sauce on your fish supper.

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7. And being able to follow it up with one of these.

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8. We created a sausage that fits into a sandwich perfectly.

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9. Soor Plooms sort the men from the boys.

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10. An Aberdeen rowie is proof that Scotland is God’s own land.

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11. The Edinburgh Military Tattoo makes Beefeaters look lazy.

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12. We’ve got the best sporting spirit in the world.

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13. And we know exactly how to keep a feud going. No rivalry runs deeper than that of the Old Firm.

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14. Hogmanay. The biggest New Year’s celebration in the world. So big that Scotland has two bank holidays following it, not just one.

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15. We get the best comedians.

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16. The best Bond.

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17. Just going to leave this one here.

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18. Shakespeare’s best play? Oh alright then.

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19. Of course, we don’t need Will when we have Rabbie.

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20. We invented the television.

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21. And the telephone.

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22. Penicillin? That’s us.

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23. Just the birthplace of Harry Potter. No big deal.

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24. Sherlock’s ours too.

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25. Method Man knows what’s up.

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26. Jersey cattle? We prefer Highland, thanks.

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27. No need to thank us for West Highland Terriers. You’re welcome.

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28. Olympics? Nailed it.

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29. Oh go on then.

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30. You can keep your sarcasm, England.

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31. Our newspaper headlines are legendary.

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32. Let’s talk Mary, Queen of Scots. Total badass.

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33. Whisky. No ‘e’.

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34. A dog so loyal that he’s had two films made about him.

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35. We’re not frightened by offal.

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36. Our zoo has a daily penguin parade.

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37. And look at our Disney princess.

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38. Scotland’s alright looking, we guess.

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39. Our scenery is simply extraordinary.

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40. But most of all, we know when it’s time to go home, home.

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Ailbhe Malone is the UK lifestyle editor for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
Journalist, lecturer and erstwhile stay-at-home dad.
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