21 Reasons Playing ‘Monopoly’ Is A Terrible Idea

The game that turns everyone into Mr. Burns.

1. This is how it begins. You sit down to play Monopoly with your loved ones.

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2. You’ve got some cold beverages, some snacks, and a comfy seat. Great!

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3. You playfully choose your piece. Your brother goes straight for the dog, as ever.

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4. You buy your first property. Elated, you fan yourself with the cards you’ve collected.

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5. Then, a sense of creeping discomfort arises. You notice that people around you are changing.

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6. As the family works their way around the board, it’s clear that there’s a strategy in place.

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7. There’s tension on the air. Your dad lost the battle for the Top Hat piece, and will take his revenge.

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8. How long have you been playing for? Time passes so slowly when you’re trying to get all the Utilities.

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9. Or the railroads! You could then catch the train out of this game, far far away.

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10. The banker looks shifty. What kind of banker doesn’t keep their notes organised?

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11. Beads of sweat form on brows as illicit IOUs are passed under the table.

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12. This isn’t Monopoly. This is war.

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13. Rent rises, and hotels are built with no regard for health and safety regulations.

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14. You reach a stalemate. All properties have been taken. You wander around the board, waiting for something. Anything.

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15. You begin to mull on committing a crime. Just so you can sit quietly in jail for a while.

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16. You float the idea of creating social housing - a better, more equal world. Nobody listens.

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17. While you go to the bathroom, your sibling raises your rent. You declare bankruptcy, in shame.

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18. The group becomes split between ‘lifers’ and ‘sore losers’. Neither will concede.

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19. Uncle Moneybags taunts you from outside the box, rubbing his hands as he sees a once-happy group of people, reduced to haggling over hotels.

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20. There’s an uprising. The game ends in tears. As ever.

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21. There’s only one solution.

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Ailbhe Malone is the UK lifestyle editor for BuzzFeed and is based in London.
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