21 Reasons Playing ‘Monopoly’ Is A Terrible Idea

The game that turns everyone into Mr. Burns.

1. This is how it begins. You sit down to play Monopoly with your loved ones.

2. You’ve got some cold beverages, some snacks, and a comfy seat. Great!

3. You playfully choose your piece. Your brother goes straight for the dog, as ever.

4. You buy your first property. Elated, you fan yourself with the cards you’ve collected.

5. Then, a sense of creeping discomfort arises. You notice that people around you are changing.

6. As the family works their way around the board, it’s clear that there’s a strategy in place.

7. There’s tension on the air. Your dad lost the battle for the Top Hat piece, and will take his revenge.

8. How long have you been playing for? Time passes so slowly when you’re trying to get all the Utilities.

9. Or the railroads! You could then catch the train out of this game, far far away.

10. The banker looks shifty. What kind of banker doesn’t keep their notes organised?

11. Beads of sweat form on brows as illicit IOUs are passed under the table.

12. This isn’t Monopoly. This is war.

13. Rent rises, and hotels are built with no regard for health and safety regulations.

14. You reach a stalemate. All properties have been taken. You wander around the board, waiting for something. Anything.

15. You begin to mull on committing a crime. Just so you can sit quietly in jail for a while.

16. You float the idea of creating social housing - a better, more equal world. Nobody listens.

17. While you go to the bathroom, your sibling raises your rent. You declare bankruptcy, in shame.

18. The group becomes split between ‘lifers’ and ‘sore losers’. Neither will concede.

19. Uncle Moneybags taunts you from outside the box, rubbing his hands as he sees a once-happy group of people, reduced to haggling over hotels.

20. There’s an uprising. The game ends in tears. As ever.

21. There’s only one solution.

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