95 Thoughts Everyone Has When Shopping At Topshop

    Sequinned hotpants. So useful.

    1. Might just pop in.

    2. See what there is.

    3. Have a look around.

    4. Maybe buy a dress?

    5. Ooh dresses!

    6. So many dresses.

    7. SO CUTE.

    8. I'll try that on.

    9. And that one.

    10. And that one.

    11. Not this one though.

    12. Why does it have so many cut-out bits?

    13. Where are the straps?

    14. How does it stay up?

    15. Did I miss a straps memo?

    16. Is this what the teens are doing now?

    17. Does Lorde not have straps? Is that her thing?

    18. Might try it on anyway.

    19. Should check how much it is.

    20. JESUS.

    21. HOW?

    22. Maybe it's really comfy.

    23. If I'm trying these on anyway may as well have a proper look.

    24. I love that T-shirt.

    25. Looks really roomy.

    26. But elegant too?

    27. It's actually really big.

    28. Maybe I've lost weight?

    29. Oh, Maternity.

    30. Can I still try it on?

    31. I wonder if I could make trouser suits my thing.

    32. Or short suits.

    33. Like Solange.

    34. Does she shop in Topshop?

    35. Everyone shops in Topshop.

    36. Imagine if Solange was my friend.

    37. I will try on this shorts suit.

    38. So that if I meet Solange she will realise that we should be friends.

    39. She will be like 'wow! I love shorts suits!'

    40. And I'll be like 'Me too!'

    41. What do you wear with a shorts suit?

    42. A blouse?

    43. Must ask Solange about this.

    44. My arms are very sore from carrying all these hangers.

    45. But I don't want to do two changing room trips.

    46. Culottes!

    47. Are culottes cool again?

    48. Hahah cool-ottes LOL

    49. Should probably grab some Baxter jeans too.

    50. Changing rooms ahoy!

    51. How many items do I have?

    52. The attendant is judging my choices.

    53. She is wearing an excellent shorts suit.

    54. And so many accessories.

    55. Should I wear more accessories?

    56. Oh dear I don't think shorts suits are my thing.

    57. Solange will be so disappointed.

    58. Culottes? Are they working?

    59. Hmmmmmmmm.

    60. Maybe they need high heels.

    61. I can always return them.

    62. Good old Baxter jeans.

    63. You never let me down.

    64. Right, time to pay.

    65. Hand the shorts suit back to the attendant.

    66. Try not to whisper 'soon' to it.

    67. Oh the makeup stand!

    68. I meant to buy a lip marker!

    69. Ooooooh berrry red.

    70. Or pink?

    71. Best get both.

    72. And some earrings from Freedom.

    73. And a ring.

    74. And a phone case.

    75. Queue queue queue.

    76. Sweeties?

    77. May as well.

    78. Socks?

    79. Definitely.

    80. Cute tissues?

    81. So cute.

    82. Soooooo cute.

    83. HOW IS THE REGISTER SHOWING £70.

    84. Yes, I will take it all anyway.

    85. I have left my student card… at home?

    86. (Four years ago.)

    87. (When I graduated.)

    88. Any chance?

    89. No?

    90. Fair enough.

    91. Take the bags and leave.

    92. WTF.

    93. The girl next to me has just bought the exact same thing.

    94. Including the same phone case.

    95. Brilliant.