1. There are a lot of things you may not know about fruit....
i never met my father
2. ...or vegetables.
Out of all the vengebles the carrot is one of the most orange honestly
3. Thankfully, these handy fruit and vegetable Twitter accounts are here to educate you!
there is literally nothing lime cant do it is Real Fact
4. For instance, root veggies are grown in a hardy environment.
Beets have anger issues so I'm sorry if my sister Beetrice yells at you
me: i'm so lonely person: hey me: leave me alone
5. Bananas grow on trees.
my dad told me i would never make it far from the tree well look at me now bitch
6. Oranges, bananas, and lychees are very delicate when peeled.
i hate it when i am thinking about life and someone peel my skin off like really bro i'm trying to think and you gunna peel me like that wow
i can't stand when i am trying to relax and people ask my why am i yellow like really wow rude why don't you peel my skin while you're at it
All a lychee wants is a face
7. Salad greens must be put through a salad spinner, because they often come with dirt on the leaves.
How to have a good day: 1. Buy 2 lettuces 2. Tape them to your wind shield wipers 3. Turn on wind shield wipers 4. Watch the lettuces dance
You are in the shower Drip drip goes the water Suddenly you hear a noise Vrrrrrr vrrrr What is that noise A cabbage is blow drying his leafs
8. Even if you drop them on the floor, salad greens can still be salvaged!
If you are wondering what it feels like to be a lettuce just paint your self green and curl up in a ball on the floor and die
what the even heck
can you die
9. Pumpkins, a versatile vegetable, are delicious at any meal.
P - please U - go M -out P - with K - me I - i want you you to go out with me N - now
10. Potatoes should not be eaten with bread.
are u the first piece of bread bc no one wants u
11. Peanuts can actually go rotten.
peanuts screams are at frequencies too high for the human ear
12. Wooden planks are not edible.
Follow Me and i will give Away somrthing but not my soul because I Dont Have one because I am a Plank how am I Alive
13. Cabbages are a great source of practical jokes.
I love my life April fool I hate my life
Me: dad Dad: what Me: a cabbage is blue Dad: leave me alone Me: April fool he is green Dad: oh my god
14. Pomegranates are known as the king of the fruit.
pomogronotes cannot laugh Because there is no happiness left inside of them. also they Do Not have a mouth
I didn't ask to be created
15. Lemons are a great homeopathic remedy for a number of ailments.
you can pour lemon juice in your eyes but it is not recommended because it is bad
16. Fresh carrots should be crunchy and delicious.
Most Carrots have the crunch I looked at Megans facebook page before bed last night and it made me feel not good .
Carrots taste good megan i will never get over you
17. Carrots also have a long life span.
"carrot" is spelled with a C but it sound like a K i don't want to die alone
18. Oranges are lovely in juices, but only use ripe oranges!
well i made it out of blender alive thanks to all the orange that call 911 for me I owe yall my life i love you
19. Make sure not to eat rotten pears.
death
20. Asparagus is a very helpful veggie.
if your grandma is forgetful u can put asparagus outside her house it wont make her remember things but she will have asparagus in her life
21. But never cross a veggie, because they are vengeful creatures.
Fool a cabbage once Shame on you Fool a cabbage twice Burn in hell For the rest of your life