1.
First off, PC graphics are just total garbage when compared to console graphics.
2.
You can barely customize anything. WHERE'S THE CUSTOM FACEPLATE???
3.
PCs are just way, way too fast.
4.
Imagine how much more unique this would be if it was a generic PlayStation or Xbox.
5.
Everything is SOOOO expensive.
6.
Consoles are just so much healthier — when your friends and family need to watch something, its the perfect cue to stop playing and go outside.
7.
Can you imagine playing multiplayer games online for free? No thanks.
8.
Don't you love having to stay up to date with every single new update on your console before playing a game?
9.
PC users can't hope to keep up with all the mega-powerful emerging technology.
10.
Steam sales? Don't make me laugh. Are any of these games even good?
11.
Humble Bundles totally devalue the cost of one game. You could totally get eight great games for a few bucks on consoles.
12.
But why would you when you can pay 10 bucks for a scratched-up disc from 2007?
13.
GameStop's sales deals are far too good to be wasting your time on Steam.
14.
And when you're done, you can trade your console games in for a great value.
15.
There's frankly too many options for controllers. Why would anyone use a keyboard?
16.
Modding is the worst thing ever, too. Jumping around a city as the Hulk in Grand Theft Auto? No thanks.
17.
And this upscaled silky-smooth version of Final Fantasy? Disgusting.
18.
The soft purr of a custom gaming rig chugging away frankly makes me nauseous.
19.
Everone knows PC gamers are just isolated. Why would anyone want that?
