10 Of Classic Literature's Weirdest Fan Fictions

Amazon expanded its fan fiction platform this week. But it's got a lot of catching up to do.

This week Amazon announced that Kurt Vonnegut's work will join Gossip Girl and The Vampire Diaries on its new paid fan fiction platform, Kindle Worlds. But it's worth remembering the original home of fan fiction, FanFiction.net. There people choose to write it for free, maybe because they see the true romance behind Harry and Draco's rivalry, or maybe just to take out their frustration on their English teacher. Here are some of their weirdest takes on classic literature.

1. Romeo and Juliet: told through Facebook status updates

and-run-the-heart.tumblr.com

"Romeo: OMG, JULIET IS WALKING OUTSIDE. OMGOMGOGM! And she's leaning on the railing…now she blinked…and she's moving her hand….but to where? Ohh, to her cheek. Nice choice. Those baby butt soft cheeks, I wish I could stroke it….omg, she's sighing now. (from mobile)

Romeo: BTW, I'm not a stalker. (from mobile)"

Source: Romeo and Juliet: Facebook News Feed Edition

2. Bewowulf: Beowulf works for the IRS and must battle the evil tax evader Grendel

reddit.com

"My name is Beowulf. I work for the IRS I hath come to look through your tax records."

Source: Beowulf: SUPER NERDNESS!

3. Catcher in the Rye: Holden Caulfield reads The Wizard of Oz

Twitter: @H_Caulfield

"Anyway, the story's about some girl who's a prostitute or something, I can't remember, and this tornado comes out of nowhere and kills everyone. If you ask me, I think that's a pretty dumb way to start a book. I mean it doesn't even make sense."

Source: The Wizard of Oz

4. Animal Farm: An angry high school student is teleported into Animal Farm with an assault rifle

sirenvisual.com.au

"She had a shotgun strapped to her back She walked into the barn and realized she was in the middle of one of Napoleon's speeches. She pulled out her AR-15 and instantly, two of her friends appeared behind her. Ivy and Fiona. Fiona had a knife and a katana and Ivy had a shotgun."

Source: I have a shotgun and I'm NOT happy

5. The Scarlet Letter: Hester Prynne is an outcast superhero living on one of Pluto's moons

Via glogster.com

"I once read that on another planet called Earth, humans revere people with my powers. Those people wear letters on their chests that stand for "super" and "wonder", but even they hide their real identities. Here on Charon Moon Colony Seven I am not permitted to hide my identity."

Source: SuperHeroine

6. 1984: Winston searches for Big Brother to the tune of The Real Slim Shady

Via heavenshallburn92.tumblr.com

"It's as if you have never seen his picture before, Oceania's at war, there's no values anymore, we're all rotten to the core, Ingsoc has no class like England was before, our army's force, bombs the innocent and worse.(Ahh!) "It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Big Brother said nothing you idiots! Big Brother ain't real, he's locked in our heads!"

Source: The Real Big Brother

7. Lord of the Flies: William Golding's classic re-told as a lost season of Survivor

whysoocurious.tumblr.com

"Argument broke out in their midst. The dark-haired kid tried to bite Jeff's arm and soon enough the host was pulled into one of the many skirmishes. He motioned wildly for me to switch off the camera. I rolled my eyes and obliged.

This was going to be a long season of bullshit."

Source: Survivor: The Forgotten Season

8. Pride and Prejudice: Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley travel to a small rural town to look for material for their new album

Via whatshouldwecallswingdance.tumblr.com

"It is well understood that on college campuses, particularly those with a 30-70 male-to-female ratio, the arrival of a new and attractive young man is a cause for some excitement (and a lot of primping). So, when a rock star moved into the mansion built by the founder of the town and school, the female students of Vickroot University gossiped accordingly."

Source: Love and Other Accidents

9. The Odyssey: Odysseus washes ashore a mysterious island and encounters a giant Big Mac

kino.vieraugen.com

"The Big Mac let out a laugh that sounded like a roar, 'It was a mage who made me able to talk. No one ever told him not to play with his food…Why don't you eat Odysseus? It must've been a long journey for you to wash upon my island.'"

Source: Odysseus and the Big Mac

10. The Canterbury Tales: the Wife of Bath goes on a talk show

Via sites.fas.harvard.edu

"It's so great to be here! You don't understand how unappreciated I am, ALL THE TIME! My husbands just didn't understand that"

Source: Tonight with Chaucer: The Wife of Bath