1. You have to warm up before sitting down to sew like you’re running a marathon.
Today, sewing machine. YOU’RE MINE.
But becomes a monster when you sit down.
We meet again, human.
3. It has sent you to the emergency room at least once.
Don’t you understand I need my fingers for sewing?!
4. You always wish it was a nice little machine like Wall-E…
But it is really more of a Transformer.
I am Megatron and I will destroy everything you love.
5. It eats more thread than your dryer eats socks.
Om nom nom nom nom.
6. Your sewing machine requires more maintenance than your car.
Looks like you need a new needle or five.
7. You need a glass of wine before sewing.
Bring me strength, Cabernet.
8. The bobbin acts like your machine’s evil sidekick and ruins everything all the time.
Oh. The pattern told you this was a one hour project, did it?
9. You make angry noises while sewing that you would not be willing to repeat in public.
You know… those noises that send the family dog running into the other room.
10. Your sewing room is a war zone of ruined hems and bunched fabric.
We’ll never forget what happened here.
11. When you first bought it you named it something cute like Martha…
and now you ominously refer to it as something like “the Machine”.
12. If the zombie apocalypse came..
you’re pretty sure you could defend yourself with techniques you learned while sewing.