Who Will Save American Apparel?

Will Justin Bieber or the Backstreet Boys be able to save this failing company? (Via Flavorwire.)

• 1. Carles of Hipster Runoff

  

  A fair amount of the Hipster Runoff’s content comes from American Apparel-related news, whether it be reporting on who’s protesting the store at any given time or what’s behind their latest marketing gimmick. Perhaps Carles can use his svengali powers to convince his extensive fan base of alts to buy more “Am Appy” products. Or maybe he’s right: it’s ‘the end of the world‘ and we should start stockpiling American Apparel t-shirts to up-sell down the line.

• 2. Obama

  

  With the recent backlash from his comment that iPads cause information to become a “distraction,” Obama needs a cause that will save his image in the minds of the youth. Saving American Apparel may be just that cause. Although Obama can no longer dress in American Apparel clothing due to being “the leader of the free world,” saving the company will certainly show that he is still our “Fresh Prince of Pennsylvania Avenue.”

• 3. Woody Allen

  

  This may seem unlikely to those who remember that just one year ago Woody Allen took American Apparel to court and ended up settling for a $5 million payout from the company. And you’re right: Woody Allen would definitely not save American Apparel. Between chasing young actresses, making mediocre movies that only somewhat resemble his earlier brilliance, and being tired due to his age, Allen simply doesn’t have the time. But how funny would it be if he saved the company only to shut it down?

• 4. The Backstreet Boys

  

  The Backstreet Boys may actually be the perfect group of people to save American Apparel. Not only are they avid wearers of the company’s products, they’re embarking on a summer tour that could use some publicity. With the recent upswing of popularity for all things ’90s this may be the perfect time for the Backstreet Boys to start associating themselves with this brand and work together with the company to bring it towards salvation. “Shape of My American Apparel Heart” could certainly be the summer hit we’ve all been waiting for.

• 5. Justin Bieber

  

  Justin Bieber would be nothing without his iconic American Apparel hoodies, and we’re pretty sure he knows this. Over the past few months, Bieber has amassed massive amounts of internet fame and can mobilize his fan base — for both good and evil — in the time that it takes to send a tweet. Of course, we have to decide if a tween infested American Apparel is worth it, but our take is that it would be better than nothing. And at least the clothes would fit them properly.