Do you have a question for our fabulous advice columnists? Send early and often to firstname.lastname@example.org.
How do you know when you should move cities to be with a man?
Dear Not Moved,
I personally did that with my man. I was living in Arizona and Ice was living in New York when we met. Three thousand miles is a long distance to be apart. Honestly, I knew from instant attraction that not only did I want to be with him but also that I did not want to be away from him. And that comes from the heart. You need to do decide, do you want to be with that man all the time? If so, then I would take that jump. If you were only so-so about it, only 50 percent sure, then I wouldn’t. If you truly want to, then do it. Life is too short — you can always move back.
My boyfriend and I love each other dearly but we bicker about little things, like whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher, all the time. Are we doomed? Or is this normal? What’s the secret to a successful long-lasting relationship?
I’m going to speak for my marriage and it’s worked for us in the 11 years we’ve been married. Men like to do the manly stuff — stuff that needs to be fixed around the house, etc. Anything grimy around the house, the man should do. It all depends on how much the man is working, though. If the man is working full-time, then the woman should take care of the house. If the man is only working half-time, then he needs to pitch in a little. My man usually works 13 hours days so I make sure to take care of everything else.
I don’t like to complain because being married is about putting in work, being equal partners on everything and not being lazy. If you’re going to complain you might as well be single.