1. Duke Nukem Forever
2. The Great Gatsby
You know that book we all read in high school? The one where Nick is probably gay and everyone is just drunk driving all the time and suddenly the 1920s were super cool for a minute? Well imagine that same book but with deathly waiters and flapper dancers, a hat you can fight with like a boomerang, and a GIANT PAIR OF EYES you have to fight. It’s as crazy as it sounds and addictive as hell.
3. Watergate: The Video Game
Confession time: I thought Watergate was a whitewater rafting-based tragedy for about five years of my life. My own unawareness of history aside, I can’t decide if this game is better or worse after watching All The President’s Men but it’s definitely infinitely more entertaining. Knowing how things ACTUALLY go down makes the crazy levels-hopping in this game far more fun. I never thought a story about paper trails could make an awesome visual novel videogame, but it WORKS and it’s awesome.
4. Desert Bus
You know what sounds super fun? Let’s drive, in realtime, from Tucson, AZ, to Las Vegas, NV, at 45mph in a big rig. Except simulated. Lauded as one of the worst games of all-time, this is the literal definition of a sim game and yet. I cannot believe someone paid some people to develop this. How the hell did they playtest it? WHO THE HELL PLAYTESTED IT? (PS, I’ve done this drive in a minivan. It’s literally as shitty as it sounds.)
You know what I’m going to do today? Figure out how to make this ragdoll man run a distance — ANY DISTANCE — just by timing the pressing of the Q, W, O, and P keys on my keyboard correctly. QWOP is this crazy cult classic game with passable graphics and a simple premise that will make you want to BREAK ALL YOUR TOYS. This game is hard, and while I have a deeper appreciation for my ability to coordinate muscles to walk, it’s also a crazy videogame concept that I just cannot even.