1. 1. The Decadence D’Or Cupcake — $750 at Sweet Surrender (Las Vegas)
This dessert comes in a hand blown sugar vase and it’s made from a bunch of fancy stuff including Venezuelan dark chocolate, gold vanilla caviar, and Remy Martin cognac. Suri Cruise probably gets these flown in on her birthday.
2. The Alternative: Store Bought Cupcakes
If there’s one thing Liz Lemon taught us, it’s that you don’t need to overspend on treats. Nobody wants to admit it, but those six packs of cupcakes from the grocery store are on point. A cupcake doesn’t need to be covered in gold flakes to be delicious, but if you want to feel extravagant, eat it while wearing all the gaudy jewelry your grandma left you.
3. 2. White Truffle and Gold Pizza — $2,420 at Margo’s (Malta)
Not sure what it is about ingesting elements of the periodic table, but it seems to be a trend these days. The folks at Margo’s fly in white truffles from Piedmont for this royal pizza, courtesy UPS.
4. The Alternative: A Late Night Slice of New York Pizza
Try Lombardi’s. It’s been around for over a century, with good reason. And honestly, all pizza is particularly delicious after 2 AM. Get a few cocktails in you on a Saturday night, and that white truffle and gold pizza will have a hard time beating a slice of plain old mushroom and spinach.
5. 3. Trilogy — $5,102 at the Gleneagles Hotel (Scotland)
Alright, this one is sort of the cheating. The drink itself, consisting of Stoli vodka and a twist of lemon, can’t possibly cost more than twenty bucks or so, but they “garnish” the cocktail with an 18 karat white gold ring. That’s sort of like parking a brand new Aston Martin Vanquish next to a Hot Pocket and charging $280,000 for it as a package deal, but I guess that’s what the world’s come to.
6. The Alternative: Just Buy Yourself Some Damn Jewelry
There doesn’t need to be a big song and dance about treating yourself to some glitzy ice. Just drink a bottle of wine and head on down to Tiffany’s for a shopping spree. People will judge you far less.
7. 4. The Zillion Dollar Lobster Frittata — $1,000 at Le Parker Meridien (NYC)
Eggs and lobster topped with sevruga caviar. There’s no better way to recover from the shame of a debauched night out on the town than by dropping a grand on brunch, right?
8. The Alternative: Actually, The Zillion Dollar Frittata
Le Parker Meridien has a version of the same dish with less caviar for a mere $100, and other items on their menu run for around 25 bucks. If that’s still too expensive, did you know Taco Bell is launching a breakfast waffle taco this week? That’s sort of the same.
9. 5. The Von Essen Platinum Club Sandwich — $150 at The CliveDen (UK)
Italian quail eggs, semi-dried Italian tomatoes, fine meats, organic mayonnaise, and those ever popular white truffles. The owners of the restaurant say it’s big enough to share, but for $150 you should eat half and ask for a doggie bag (which is most likely made of silk charmeuse).
10. The Alternative: Thirty Footlong Subs From Subway
For the same price of the aforementioned sandwich, you can buy thirty Five Dollar Footlongs, throw a party, and invite all your friends. People love to be fed. Or you could pop those sandwiches in the fridge and have breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next week and a half.