The Wit And Wisdom Of Danny Dyer

The often controversial, always forthright London actor has a wise word for nearly every occasion. Here's just a few of the profanity-filled gems he tosses out via Twitter on a daily basis

On street magic

Mad night out.That little fucker Dynamo has freaked me the fuck out.I'm in awe of him but at the same time the cunts 2 magic for words.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) January 11, 2013

On the importance of education

Love my baby girl with all my heart but I can't wait for her to whack that blazer on tomorrow and get back in that fucking school.#sweet

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) January 7, 2013

On the Mayan 'apocalypse'

So basically the end of the world meant that it pissed down for 3 days.Fucking petrifying.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) December 23, 2012

On coping with adverse weather conditions

What a cunt of a night.Fucking hate night shoots.Really need a quarter pounder with cheese to warm me cockles.#coldasacunt

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) December 12, 2012

On self-censorship

Sorry I ain't been about my little twitter massive. Had a bit of a bollocking from the manager. Apparently I'm saying cunt to much. (Whoops)

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) December 6, 2012

On difficult mornings

Have to work today.What a kick up the bollocks.Shout out to those lot still in bed after a heavy one. #luckycunts

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) November 24, 2012

On taking care of yourself

If the body is a temple.At this moment mine's a fucking windowless shed.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) November 1, 2012

On international travel

Packed me bag, 4 thongs 900 cigars and 6 key of grade A coke.Should get me through 10 days.I joke of course, the thongs wouldn't fit.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 15, 2012

Fuck any custom officers out there I'm joking.How many cigars am I aloud again.....I'msure it's like 200.Oh yeah and it's grade C.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 15, 2012

On extraterrestrial life

UFO's.They exist I'm telling ya whether or not there coming down and whacking there fingers up our arses is another story. #wanna believe

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 11, 2012

On pteronarcophobia

I can't believe it.I've just seen a fly. It was a slow fat cunt but never the less it's fucking October.Fucking wound me up no end.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 11, 2012

On the craft of the actor

Fucks your nut right up learning dialogue.Besion....aide....si te plait.Especially this French bollocks.Need a snout.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 8, 2012

On the therapeutic effects of duck ponds

Apologies for the late tweetsi was all over the gaff. I'm in a mad mood feel like taking the littlen to knock about with some ducks. #

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 7, 2012

Yeah.Fuck it I'm gonna get ducked up ta fuck.Me and my little sunnie are gonna treat em to a nice bit of stale bread.#oldschool

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 7, 2012

Well that was weird. Found a lovely pond/lake not a fucking duck in sight. Maybe they was shy.....or maybe they was arrogant........pricks.

— Danny Dyer (@MrDDyer) October 7, 2012