1. The Comfort Kween
Carryon Items: A messy bun, oversized pillow, Uggs that are clinging to life, and an attitude that won’t quit.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: It’s like they put on everything they owned just to hold you up at the security line.
2. The Outlet Stealer
Carryon Items: Every electronic device they own, adapters, extension cords, and the ability to crouch like Gollum for hours without cramping up.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: They are the reason you will go through your trip with a dead phone. Some of us need to post airport selfies to Instagram and can’t now.
3. The Seat Hogger
Carryon Items: NyQuil, slip-on shoes that keep slipping off, Jeggings, and a total lack of spatial awareness.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: At some point they will end up drooling on your shoulder.
4. The one who decided to drink to take the edge off, and got suuuper carried away.
Carryon Items: A belly full of Mai Tais that may or may not stay down during the flight.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: At worst, they talk way too loud at you. At worst, they hurl on you.
5. Whatever bartender decided to keep serving #4.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: See above.
6. The one who thinks the rules don’t apply to them for some reason.
Carryon Items: Total disbelief at being told they can’t board with giant bottles of lotion, water, perfume, etc.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: Because if we all have to follow the stupid rules, so do yoooooou. Come on, duh.
7. The nice old lady who talks… and talks… and talks…
Carryon Items: Pictures of her grandchildren, conversation starters for days, and the sweetest disposition.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: As kindly as she may be, you really just want to stick in your headphones and snooze off to the sweet sounds of blaring music.
8. The Emotional Cryer
Carryon Items: Heartache, a kaleidoscope of past memories, and a bag full of tears.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: Air travel is emotional enough already. Plus, they’re just a reminder that no one’s there crying for you right now. ಥ_ಥ
9. Babies and children who won’t shut the hell up.
Carryon Items: Diaper bags, portable DVD players, sticky toys, and a patience that far exceeds normal human capacity.
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: If they’re not screaming, they’re kicking the back of your chair. There’s no way out, just accept defeat.
10. Sandwiches that cost ELEVEN DAMN DOLLARS, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Reason You Just Can’t With Them: Because you can’t, as in you have no money, as in you’re too broke for this shit.