1. You have superior bullshitting skills, because you spent four years talking up questionable art projects.
2. You’ve seen all your friends naked, because they’ve either posed for another friend’s photography project or stripped down for a life modeling session.
3. In fact, you’ve seen so many naked bodies that nudity has lost all meaning and body parts have just become weird fleshy lumps.
4. You know people with degrees in totally-not-made-up majors like “Conceptual Fashion Pottery” and “Advanced Experimental Cake Decorating for the Left Handed.”
5. You frequently wonder how much smarter you’d be if you hadn’t lost half your brain cells to paint fumes and solvent vapors.
6. You are sooo sick of black frame glasses.
…even though you have two pairs of your own.
7. You kind of relate to the people on Hoarders, because your own workspace looks like a tornado tore through a Utrecht store.
8. The cliche that all art school kids end up as baristas annoys you to no end…but most of the people you graduated with make a mean cappuccino.
9. You yourself have perfected the art of the french press after countless caffeine-aided all nighters.
10. You’ve considered faking your death to escape your monumental student debt.
“So if I owe $114,000, and I sell each painting for $300, I only need to sell… 380 paintings.”