10 Of The Most Bizarre And Unsettling Conspiracy Theories

Basically nothing is real and sea monsters are going to eat you.

1. John F. Kennedy’s brain is possibly missing, maybe.

The new book End of Days: The Assassination of John F. Kennedy alleges that JFK’s brain went missing after his autopsy. Conspiracy theorists speculate it was intentionally hidden to cover up the truth: that JFK was shot from the front, rather than from behind, by Lee Harvey Oswald.

2. Yuri Gagarin wasn’t the first person to enter space — just the first to come back alive.

The “Lost Cosmonauts” theory claims that Gagarin was the first man to survive human spaceflight, but not the first to enter the heavens. Another cosmonaut, Vladimir Ilyushin, is believed to have landed off-course and been held by the Chinese government, and conspiracy theorists purport over a dozen cosmonauts may have perished in space before Gagarin’s flight.

3. The ancient Egyptians discovered electricity, and the pyramids were giant conductors.

A series of stone reliefs at the Dendera Temple complex depict what appears to resemble modern electical lighting systems such as Geissler and Crookes tubes. Fringe theories ran wild with this comparison, alleging that the pitch-black passageways in the pyramids were lit via electricity.

4. Déjà vu is caused when the same event happens in two universes at the same time.

Some parapsychologists claim that déjà vu is triggered by similar events occurring simultaneously in different dimensions. Others claim the phenomenon is caused by reliving a moment from a past life.

5. Beyoncé is a member of the Illuminati.

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…and so is everyone else in pop music, apparently. The Illuminati, conspiracy theorists claim, is a New World Order which conspires to masterminding events and gain supreme power and influence. Beyoncé and Lady Gaga make a few triangle signs with their hands and suddenly they’re masterminds in a secret society.

6. The makers of Carmex add irritants into their lip balm.

Though it’s been disputed over and over again, people still adamantly claim Carmex has bits of fiberglass added in, tearing up your lips and requiring you to apply more lip balm. Though easily proven false, fans of the conspiracy claim Carmex is covering up the testing of their product with lots of bribe money.

7. Cthulhu is real, and he lives off the coast of Chile.

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In 1997 an ultra-low and extremely powerful underwater sound was detected in a remote point in the Pacific Ocean. The noise resembled that of a living creature, but several times louder than the loudest recorded animal, the blue whale. It also occurred unsettlingly close to H.P. Lovecraft’s fictional city of R’lyeh, the lost underwater mecca where malevolent cosmic entity Cthulhu supposedly slumbers.

8. The Air Force is spraying the U.S. population with mysterious chemicals.

In 1996, a chemtrail conspiracy theory began to circulate claiming that the trails left behind by aircraft were actually harmful chemicals intended to make humans dumber/unhealthy/turn them into mutants/whatever. The Air Force refutes these claims as a hoax, but the theory has persisted.

9. Aliens visited Phoenix, Ariz., in 1997.

On Thursday, March 13, 1997, reports of five giant hovering lights were reported in the skies over Arizona, Nevada, and Sonora, Mexico, before slowly going out one by one. The U.S. Air Force claimed it was illumination flares from a training exercise. Of course it was.

10. Our entire existence is only a simulation.

The general theory here is that humans will eventually become intelligent enough to create a simulation indistinguishable to the real world. Eventually the “entities” in that simulation will naturally build their own simulation, and so on and so forth. Some theorize the entire world is actually an advanced simulation created by real humans (or, let’s be real, cat aliens).

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