DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK. They've been here for years. Finger skates were all the rage in the '90s and they're BACK, BABY!
OK, not really. But they should make a comeback. Here's why you need a pair of finger skates in your life.
You can make super ugly legs with your fingers. Who cares if these skates came out of the box missing a wheel?
You can make it look like there's a tiny ballsack between your finger-legs.
...or spend the whole day skatin' with your giant dick out.
You can lazily skate around on your desk when the workday is slow.
It's fun to finger-dance to hip jams, even as your skates literally break apart around you.
If you're really committed, you can accessorize you finger skates with some baller Skeeter Valentine pants.
"Shred that rail, bro! Honk honk."
You can skate across your lover's rock hard abs.
Look how much fun you could be having!
