What It’s Like To Have A Fear Of Talking On The Phone

Please just text me or something.

1. The phone is a terrifying and monstrous machine.

New Line Cinema / Via bloody-disgusting.com

2. For real. This is you.

3. You’re always super nervous that an important call will come at a bad time.

4. And when the phone rings unexpectedly?

6. In fact, you’ll often just watch your phone ring, mulling over whether or not it’s actually worth it to pick up.

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7. But if you don’t pick up, people will call over and over and over and over.

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8. When the conversation starts, you have no time to plan out what you’re saying so you inevitably say something you regret.

9. And since you don’t get any physical cues from the other person, you have no idea how the conversation might be going.

10. You try to deal with the pauses in conversation, but they feel like they last foreeeeever.

11. And when other people are really confident on the phone, you become more and more aware of how awkward you are on it.

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12. You can’t wait to just hit the “end” button.

13. After you hang up, though, you can’t help but replay the conversation in your head and worry about how stupid you might have sounded.

14. Because what if the person on the other end does this when you hang up?

15. And when you have to call someone?

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16. You can’t stop staring at the phone and wondering if your call will intrude on something important.

17. That’s why you’ll do anything to get someone else to make the call for you.

18. Seriously, you’d rather not know something than have to call and ask about it.

19. And calling your cable company, or credit card company, or really any company: THE WORST.

20. You certainly don’t want to be the person on the other end, having to make and answer phone calls all day.

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21. Essentially, talking on the phone is your own personal horror movie.

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22. But it’s OK. The Dowager understands.

23. So maybe it’s time that you just shout it from the rooftops.

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