Let's start with the obvious: Wheel of Fortune is probably the best game show ever and there's pretty much the most American thing ever.
You could say that it's an American icon.
Now let's talk about The Wheel. It is a thing of pure beauty.
Just look at those colors. Bask in the heavenly gleam that they emit.
And because of The Wheel's benevolence, the show has given out over $200 million in cash and prizes in the last 20 years.
Now look at Vanna. Look at Pat. Revel in the beauty of their smiling faces.
Vanna is a goddess who literally does not seem to age.
TELL US YOUR SECRETS VANNA.
She has worn over 6,000 dresses on the show and looked flawless in all of them.
Even when Vanna messes up, she stills appears to be a ethereal vision gliding across the stage.
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No one can press screens like Vanna can.
Plus, she's so awesome that she actually holds the WORLD RECORD for being the most frequent clapper.
And if you weren't convinced, she's so baller that she's even got her own line of yarn.
But hey, let's not forget about Pat. Here he is looking pretty darn dapper in a tux.
And he looks way better with a mustache than Trebek ever did.
Plus he's actually really funny, as evidenced by his fantastic Twitter account.
Thinking of robbing convenience store. Perfect crime. Clerk would say, "Well, he resembled Pat Sajak."
@patsajak
Thinking of robbing convenience store. Perfect crime. Clerk would say, "Well, he resembled Pat Sajak."
Another move to get me closer to the public: I've asked my bodyguards to minimize their use of Tasers.
Pat Sajak
@patsajak
Another move to get me closer to the public: I've asked my bodyguards to minimize their use of Tasers.
Great news! Just saw In Memoriam segment on Emmys, and I wasn't in it!
Pat Sajak
@patsajak
Great news! Just saw In Memoriam segment on Emmys, and I wasn't in it!
And when you put Vanna and Pat together, they're a party that can't be stopped. They've even admitted to hosting the show drunk back in its early days.
And who could forget about the heart of the show - those magnificent puzzles.
They teach the importance of proper pronunciation.
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And cultural literacy.
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"Ripe-a"? Seriously?
And Wheel has given us some of the most classic game show moments of all time.
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This guy clearly forgot that Wheel is supposed to be family friendly.
This puzzle fail is actually quite appropriate.
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And remember that time a woman solved a puzzle with ONLY ONE LETTER on the board?
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HOW DID SHE DO IT? Is she some kind of puzzle wizard or something?
Basically, Wheel is a font of happiness that has blessed the American public.
And it deserves to be celebrated as such.
So here's to many more years of vowel-buying, wheel-spinning, and puzzle-solving.
