1. Lactose intolerant
Well… I’m glad you’re tolerant of people whose feet differ from your own, I guess.
2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
I, too, am about to masticate some browned-bread munch cereal.
3. Running errands
Those damn Aarons just won’t slow down. They won’t even jog!
4. Past tense
“You see those tents down there? You want to head over that way, walk past the tents, then turn right.”
Ugh, HATE when my parents get so angry over the lack of raisins.
Perhaps start by learning how to spell fulfill.
If you have turned into the gaseous state of water, perhaps you have bigger problems than just spelling.
Although it would be pretty cool to be born in the middle of the ocean.
9. Faux pas
Tbh I agree about the camo pants thing.
Jumping into pools > being murdered and eaten.
If you don’t have the high gene in your DNA, nothing happens when you smoke marijuana. #truesciencefacts.
12. Hors d’oeuvres
Costco without hors d’oeuvres is a tragedy, though.
13. Patent leather
“Pat” is the hot new material that all of the top fashion designers are using these days. Everyone who’s anyone knows that.
Yes, making money is better than just seizing it from other people.
WAKE UP SHEEPLE: The aluminum industry runs the world.
16. Sour Patch Kids
So sour, you can’t even bear to spell the word correctly.
Jon Ra is in a music category all his own.
Yeah… I don’t think your genitals are able to speak.
Hopefully your dad is showing off faux fur and not the real stuff.
God, hippos are the worst, always saying one thing and doing another.
The irony is almost as thick as the stock being used for that stew.