18 Signs You Might Be Too Old To Trick Or Treat...

"Foreeeeever youngggg, I want to beeee foreeeever young..." True as that may be, there is an expiration date on Halloween activities. Thanks to Ellen Tift of Worldwide Groove Corporation, we have the ultimate list of signs you might be too old to trick or treat.

1.

Let's face it: you are too old to trick or treat. Also probably too old to pay attention to Kim Kardashian, but that's a different thing. Anyway, the good news is that you can trick or treat next year... with a stroller. Because of the baby you are having. Which makes you too old to trick or treat.

2.

I mean, let's face it, if you even think of using a LIBRARY instead of the internet, you're probably too old.

3.

If you know all about this fine gentleman whose career spanned half a century, PROPS TO YOU! But you may not ask for candy door to door. Let it go. Watch "Grumpy Old Men" while you give out candy.

4.

If this describes you, you are MUCH better off sitting down with a cup of tea and a tube of Bengay than going out in costume. Make like Elsa and LET. IT. GO. You're too old to trick or treat.

5.

Listen, I love me some Bonhoeffer, Merton, and Tozer. But if your favorite theologian isn't one of the Berenstain Bears, YOU ARE TOO OLD TO TRICK OR TREAT!

6.

This is not to say you can't use your knowledge for good! Take your kids trick or treating! But for heaven's sake... "no soup for you!" Consider understanding that Seinfeld reference as further confirmation that you are too old.

7.

Ahhhh, the OTHER good stuff. Listen, if you even know what weed is, you're probably approaching the threshold of innocence anyway. But if you know where to GET weed, you need to just sit yourself down at the front door and give candy to actual children.

8.

I have a really good friend who dropped a class senior year of high school so he could have early release and eat trail mix in his living room while he watched Golden Girls.

He is far, far too old to trick or treat. #TeamBlanche

9.

If you even think of anyone as a "fine young man", you're way past it, friend. Maybe just go TP Groban's house instead.

10.

This one is sad, because it means you are too old to trick or treat, but is also great, because you should definitely be offended by Ann Coulter.

11.

Shout out to one of the most unapologetically offensive songs I've ever heard on the radio! If you understand the song well enough to be offended, you're probably too old to trick or treat :(

12.

Same goes for any other alcoholic beverages. How 'bout this? Have a drinking game for every "Elsa" who comes to your door!

13.

Let's be honest, we were ALL jealous of Aunt Becky!

We are also all too old to trick or treat. Sorry, guys.

14.

You're too old to trick or treat, dude. You also might not be in the right frame of mind to hang out with kids. How 'bout you take a second to cool down and NOT GO TRICK OR TREAT?

15.

Downside: you are too old to trick or treat.

Upside: you have correctly chosen the best rapper ever.

16.

I think this one speaks for itself. You are too old for this, dude.

17.

If you thought it was okay to go trick or treating then make a new plan, Stan.

18.

Just to bring this full circle, practically any amount of awareness about the Kardashians means you are too old to trick or treat.

The tricky part of this one is that literally no one REALLY knows why Kim is famous. Does this mean I can trick or treat tonight?!!!

No. Absolutely not. If you can write BuzzFeed articles, you are too old to trick or treat.