1. When the clock strikes 5, you’re like:
It’s wine time, baby.
2. Red, white, sparkling? You don’t discriminate.
3. Your only interests are drinking wine and judging people.
5. Bottled? Boxed? You’re not picky.
Hey, everyone needs love.
6. You bring your own personal bottle to all social gatherings.
7. You have enough corks lying around to make one of these:
(And probably a matching ottoman too.)
8. You know that wine has magical powers to help you through any situation.
9. You worry about your neighbors judging your recycling bin.
10. Using wine as an IV drip sounds perfectly fine to you.
11. You’d have wine and cheese for every meal, ever, if you could.
It covers all the major food groups.
12. You challenge everyone who says you can’t drink at breakfast.
14. You know that no good story can be told without a full glass.
15. You don’t understand how people are able to keep wine cellars.
Look at all of the wine they could be drinking!
17. Your quiet nights at home end up looking like this:
19. You and your friends know exactly what your plans entail.
20. You don’t understand how people don’t like wine.
Like, hello, it’s wine; it’s delicious.
21. You never let a drop go to waste.
Because that’s a sin.
22. You have conversations with your friends about your questionable habits.
25. Because wine is made from grapes, and grapes are fruit, and fruit is good for you.
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