12 Reasons Why Adriana Lima Made Me Hide My Sexuality in High School

Because who needed to deal with liking boys when you could hang a poster of a Brazilian supermodel on your wall?

1. The Lips

Via take-me-totheparadisecity.tumblr.com

Bee-stung? More like rattlesnake-bit.

2. The Eyes

Via hellyeaheyemakeup.tumblr.com

Two sapphires that once belonged to an Egyptian cat goddess.

3. The Pout

Via Victoria's Secret

It’s the famous Lima look that causes boys to fall to their knees and gay boys to re-evaluate their default profile picture poses.

4. The Booty

Via tuhinternational.com

She's from Brazil. Pancake derrieres are part of the minority.

5. The Boobs

Via CBS/The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

1500 carats of diamonds, black diamonds and rubies never looked so good.

6. The Laugh

Via CBS

What’s so funny, Adriana? The fact that God made you perfect, or the fact that you delayed the loss of my virginity?

7. The Walk

Via CBS

Stomping on my heart with perfect legs since 1999.

8. The Charity

Via Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Are you aware that she helps an orphanage in Salvador? A true Victoria's Secret ANGEL who earned her wings.

9. The Hair

Via Kia Motors Company

It's like she and the wind are BFFS4L.

10. The Accent

Via Victoria's Secret

I honestly have no idea what she’s saying half the time, but I’d like to think it’s “why would you ever consider a man when you can be with something as beautiful as this?”

11. The Tooth That Goes Inward

Via Maybelline

Maybe she's born with it, maybe we don't give a s***.

12. The Personality

Via CBS

I had the great pleasure of meeting (convulsively shaking while standing in front of) Adriana Lima after begging my best friend to buy $60 worth of lingerie and stand in line for two hours. Adriana ripped a rose from a flower arrangement, gifted it to me and I still have it!

I keep it locked up next to my hopes and dreams and what-could-have-beens. Adriana forever.