15 Truly Absurd Men's Health Headlines

I frequent the Men's Health site more than possibly anyone else on the planet, but sometimes their headlines even make me wonder what I'm doing with my life.

"Should you buy your wife a fitness tracker for her vagina?"

Fox / Via reactiongifs.com

It might be going to Pilates without you knowing after all.

"What in the World is a Butt-Wink?"

Harpo Productions / Via reactiongifs.com

Do you know? Do you care? *Butt-Winking* at you if you do.

"Is My Penis Normal?"

Pixar / Via reactiongifs.com

Goodbye body confidence ... Hello paranoia?

"Is she addicted to her vibrator?"

Fox / Via reactiongifs.com

Addicted is a very strong word.

"Is it a sex toy or a fishing lure?"

Warner Bros. Entertainment / Via reactiongifs.com

Here's hoping you know the difference.

"What should you do with her breasts?"

Fox / Via reactiongifs.com

She might just want you to leave them alone, you know?

"Never touch a naked thigh unless you're sure it's not your mother's."

Fox / Via reactiongifs.com

No comment necessary.

"These commercial slogans would never work on a stripper's body."

NBC / Via reactiongifs.com

Jim is so over this bullshit.

"Building the perfect sex machine."

Channel 4 / Via reactiongifs.com

I feel like the context is important with this one ...

"Should you have sex while driving?"

Fremantle Media / Via reactiongifs.com

Road safety first, people.

"What Matthew McConaughey keeps in his fanny pack."

BBC / Via reactiongifs.com

*Disappointed Sigh*

'Hi, I have three breasts! Interested?'

MTV / Via reactiongifs.com

Your forwardness is almost as disarming as your third breast.

"Can you find a girlfriend with street-sign flyers?"

MTV Films / Via reactiongifs.com

Probably a solid no.

"One of the hottest women in the world is a little boy."

HBO / Via reactiongifs.com

*Dramatic Gasp*

"The coolest $500 pancakes ever."

NBC / Via reactiongifs.com

iPad > Pancake?

iPad < Pancake?

Gold Circle Films / Via reactiongifs.com