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Which Roman Of The Late Republic Are You?

It's been a long day in the senate, and you need to unwind. What's it going to be?

Do you consider yourself to be a man of the people?

Are you an educated man?

Are you lucky in love?

Where do you go to relax when the senate's not in session?

Can you hold your own in a fight?

What's your greatest dream for the future?

Finally, choose a quote that speaks to you

A man of the people, patrician from the school of hard knocks, beloved by soldiers and common folk alike- what's not to love about the original Kaiser? You know, apart from Gallic genocide, delusions of divinity, debt accumulation, and a general disregard for the welfare of your beloved Rome. You probably didn't deserve such a sticky end given your famous love for granting your enemies clemency, but at least you went down in the annals of history. We hate to love you all the same, just please stop writing about every corner of Gaul you ground into submission...

Gaius Julius Caesar

Oh, Crassus. Hanging out with your younger and more successful friends has got you feeling permanently salty, hasn't it? A more-or-less military mastermind for your two minute stint at the Colline Gate and your 'assist' at the end of the Servile War, and a political placeholder smiling and waving beside the lovely Pompey, you're not fooling anyone when you say you're honestly 'happy for' your partners in crime. What happened at Carrhae was a little unnecessary, but perhaps it was simple karmic retribution for burning houses and breaking fingers in the name of shameless profiteering? Wish I could say I was sorry to see you go...

Marcus Licinius Crassus

Father of oratory, eater of chickpeas, prince of my heart. Although anyone who's read Cicero in Latin (or English, honestly) has moaned about him never getting to the verb or to the point, it's just because you have a lot of feelings. And are going to tell us about every single one. The endless receipts on Catiline and rueful musings on a republic going down the drain are worth it for the occasional verbal savagery that still has us reeling. You may not always get invited to the party, and people may roll their eyes behind your back, but never change, never stop being the sincerest ever. Everyone needs a Cicero in their lives!

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Ever one of the boys, the sheer laddishness of Pompey still lingers 2000 years later. You may not have the pedigree of your ancestral buddies, but you make up for it by putting your hand up for any chance to flex your masculinity all around the empire. Your lack of awareness of your own limitations is oddly endearing- after all, you are too charming for the rules to apply. At your core, you're a simple soul who would have fared better in the days of Cincinnatus and Scaevola- not for you a life of political machinations and senatorial backstabbing. A word of advice- don't get on the wrong side of your cleverer and more ambitious best mate...

Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus

You're not as boring as people say, Cato, I believe you! Sure, sure your great-grandfather railed against those darn Carthaginians but your heart lies closer to home. You just want those pesky populists off of your lawn. Maybe if you put down the gloomy Plato, took a little holiday from Caesar, and stopped shouting at Sulla you might feel a little better. You're that one friend who'll do anything to prove a point, but just remember there's a fine line between Stoic brilliance and being a misery guts (no pun intended).

Marcus Porcius Cato

I believe you, Marcus. There's more to you than be the good-looking, louche, charming party boy of the Philippics. But honestly, do you do yourself any favours? There's no need to mutilate your enemies when they say mean things about you really, is there? And no need to be so jealous of Caesar's new favourite protégé! Your coping strategies are a bit questionable, and you don't really seem to have mellowed out during your time in Egypt, but still 10/10 would invite you to any symposium (just don't tell Cicero!).

Marcus Antonius

You've got it all worked out haven't you? It's a little infuriating how things seem to fall into your lap, but you can't help being a boy genius. Your unassuming nature also has a way of getting people to do stuff for you (looking at you, Agrippa and Maecenas) all without breaking a sweat. You're the arch chess master of power politics and effortless puppeteer of Ancient Rome- nice job, so long as we're ignoring your questionable relationships with your own family. Who needs them anyway when your father's a god?

Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus

Damn liberals are getting you down again, aren't they? But you're not as bad as they say you are. You want everyone to be free too, man. As long as they're agreeing with you and your aggressive package of reforms all ready to be rolled out. Sure, change is easier when you've murdered all your opponents, but maybe if you didn't leave such a trail of blood then more of your plans would have worked long term. All I'm saying is that you can come on a bit strong, although you gain infinite cool points for casually resigning the dictatorship 2 years in. My begrudging respect is yours.

Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix

Did you really need another victory lap, my guy? You love reliving your glory days and showing off battle scars and lands conquered, but maybe shut up for a second so someone else can get a word in edgeways? You weren't born with a silver spoon lodged in your mouth, and boy will you not let those softy soldiers forget it. Frequently seen with sword and sandals at the most inappropriate times, say, at your  own 70th birthday party. Have a seat, chill out. Rome won't forget you in a hurry.

Gaius Marius

Ah you poor, tortured soul. You just wanted to read a book and think about Stoicism, didn't you? It must be really hard to be born into one of Rome's finest families with the path to greatness laid out before you. You need to grow a bit of a backbone and stop being pushed around by people whispering in your ear about what you ought to be doing. Whether you're an honourable man or a pushover is still up for debate, so maybe get your nose out of that book and work it out for yourself? Or not, maybe later...

Marcus Junius Brutus

It's good to be mummy's favourite, isn't it? You're not afraid to stick your nose where it doesn't belong, and would never let your exceptional pedigree stop you from serving as tribune of the plebs. After all, they're lucky to have you! And if you should propose a controversial reform? No need for concern, you're sacrosanct after all! If only your self preservation had been as advanced as your self esteem, you may have actually been able to pass some legislation...

Tiberius Sempronius Gracchus

You're a classic younger sibling, burdened with following in the footsteps of your cleverer and better looking older brother. You did manage to inherit his brass neck though, and willingness to push the envelope without much regard for personal safety. There are probably better ways to avenge a loved one than getting yourself killed, but if good intentions were currency than I guess you'd be a millionaire. Well played...

Gaius Sempronius Gracchus

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Which Roman Of The Late Republic Are You?

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