40 People Share The Stories Behind The Best Advice They've Ever Gotten

40 people share their very best nuggets of advice.

We hear a lot about the very best advice people have ever gotten. From therapists to grandmothers to BFFs, the people in our lives impart their nuggets of wisdom on us whether we ask for it or actively reject it.

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But whether or not we wanted the advice, I've found that certain bits of wisdom are well worth sharing far and wide. From simple cooking tips to how to navigate the complex waters of grief, advice is a thing for a reason: Sometimes, it can really work. 

I've certainly shirked my fair share of advice throughout the years — don't get me wrong. But I've come to realize that certain tidbits I've internalized have genuinely helped me in varying ways. But it's not just because someone told them to me in passing.

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For me to really hear and listen to advice, it always helps me to know how that advice worked for the adviser giving it. It helps to know that someone else once went through something similar and found their way through. Not only does it give me context, but it also gives me true hope that I, too, can navigate this complicated world. 

To that end, I asked 40 people (including myself) to share the best advice they've ever gotten (or heard, or read, or seen on TV), the story behind it, and how they've put it to use in real life — successfully or not.

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I reached out to family members, old classmates, cousins, coworkers, roommates, friends, and acquaintances. Once I started reaching out, I began getting responses saying, "This is such a cool project! Can I help you get more people involved?" The network of participants began to grow from there, leading to an Olympian/NYU professor, a preschool teacher, and a high school senior (among others) sending in fantastic responses to this girl they didn't even know. In the end, they just had wonderful stories to share. 

As I said, sometimes advice really can work. And when someone holds a piece of advice close to their hearts because it's genuinely helped them, it turns out that they sometimes really, really want to see if it could help other people too.

From the importance of setting boundaries to hard lessons learned, these stories will take you on a journey through the very best advice from 40 wildly different people ranging in age from 13 to 86. So on that note, let's take a look at some of the stories behind the advice. 

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1. "You Don't Have to Be Good at Something to Enjoy It" —Dan, 24

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"This was given by some random person on Twitter. The context of it was that people often make fun of streamers for trying their hand at a chess tournament and doing predictably not well, since they aren't chess grandmasters. I, too, used to feel a certain amount of pressure to be really good at anything I tried my hand at. 

I stopped doing some of my hobbies (drawing, playing harmonica, chess) because I realized at a certain point that I wasn't going to be some sort of expert at it. But that's nonsense. If I enjoy it, I get to do it!! I don't have to be on my journey of improvement... If I enjoy drawing, I can draw. That's it, full stop."

He added, "Also, another thing that the person mentioned on Twitter — it's especially true that your hobbies don't have to, like, make you money. US society will often try to make you commodify your hobbies to 'justify' the time you spend on them, but that's bunk as well. Your art/music/dance can be just for you and you alone, and never make you any money, and it's still 'worthwhile.'"   

2. "Put in the Work to Keep in Touch With Your Friends After College" —Kimberly, 26

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"One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received is to put in the work to keep in touch with your friends in your early 20s. After graduating college, I remember listening to a podcast where the hosts mentioned how difficult it is to stay close with your friends at this phase in life because you likely aren’t going to be seeing them every day anymore. People move, become busier with work, or just develop different interests and grow apart. In your early 20s, you need to put in more effort to stay in touch with people than you ever have. 

The way I’ve implemented this is by scheduling regular FaceTimes with my best friends that live in different states and planning frequent girls trips to see them. While your group may get smaller over the years, you’ll be grateful for the friends that you kept close and the work you put in to stay connected."

3. "If It Doesn't Work, Move On" —Ole, 86

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"I had finished my apprenticeship in Hundstrup, Fyn, Denmark, where I grew up and earned my journeyman’s papers as a locksmith. I got a local job in Blåhøj* (where my parents lived) as a plumber, but that did not work out. I was then freelancing and helping my parents on their farm, but they had just owned the farm for a year and couldn’t afford to pay me.

So, one day, my father encouraged me to look for work beyond the confines of our small Danish town. 'Why don’t you look for a job in Odense or Copenhagen or someplace like that where they have shipyards and big companies?' he said. I followed my father’s advice and answered two ads. Immediately, without even receiving an interview, I was offered a job in Copenhagen as a locksmith. The next day I packed my bags and took off for the big city. I was successful, so I consider it the best advice I ever received.

I have followed this pattern throughout my career wherever I went; Copenhagen, Paris, New York, New Jersey. If it doesn’t work, move on."

4. "You Have to Learn Other People's Limits Because They Are Often Different From Your Own" —Alex, 25

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"My mother told this to me when I felt disappointed that a friend wasn't showing up for me in the way that I would've in high school, had the situation been reversed. It illuminated that some people have different expectations in/for relationships and that the only way to make sure you were on the same page was through open communication. We all have different styles when it comes to love, and it's important to note that your style and willingness to do things may be different from someone else's. What feels normal to you might be past someone else's emotional capacity, for example, and that's OK! It's one of the reasons I always ask if someone has enough headspace before I decompress or ask for advice. 

Don't get me wrong — I'm not suggesting that anyone be a doormat or pick someone up at the airport when they won't even text you back, but I think this advice helped illuminate that the high expectations I place on myself are exactly that — above the norm — and that it's good to reflect on what we are expecting from other people. No one can give 100% all the time, so it's important to meet people where they are at — and expect the same in return." 

5. "If You're Not Having Fun, It's Your Own Damn Fault" —Jake, 24

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"The best advice that I was ever given was from my grandmother who, I think, passed away about a year and a half ago now. She was this kind of, like, witty, comical woman that, you know, didn't mess around with the bullsh*t. She always said, 'If you're not having fun, it's your own damn fault,' and I think that's kind of a witty way to look at it, but it resonates with me. I think if you're not having fun, you have the power to change what's inhibiting you from having fun and change what's in your environment that's bothering you and keeping you from just living your damn life."

6. "Think Smart, Mind Your Manners, and I Don't Want to See You on the 11 O'Clock News" —Stacey, 59

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"[This] advice is from my mom; she would tell me this whenever I would leave the house to go somewhere as a way for me to not do stupid things. I told the same thing to my kids as they were growing up. 

She also told me that if I was going to steal, steal big — meaning make it worth my time if I didn’t get caught (but I’m sure she was hoping I would not be so stupid as to get caught). In essence, she probably knew I would get into a certain amount of sticky situations. She didn't want to see me on the 11 o'clock news for having done something stupid. I don't think she thought I was a shoplifter (I wasn't, by the way), but she wanted me to be realistic and careful in all my endeavors, whether they seemed (or were) stupid or not." 

7. "Never Settle" —Abby, 23

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"My dad always said to my sisters and I growing up, 'Never settle.' It started off as a closing statement to his life talks at the dinner table — never settle in your life, never settle in your job, never settle in anything you do. 'Don’t get too comfortable,' he said. As we got older, 'never settle' turned into something he said to our sports teams he coached and led to championship after championship. 

It became his thing. People would say it back to him as if it was an unspoken agreement of 'we can do it.' My dad's signature phrase has been tattooed on my old teammates, painted into murals, written on chalkboards, drawn on car windows, and more. Living by my dads word's of 'never settle' has led me down paths that people have called me crazy for going down. I moved across the country with no money or any plans for housing because I didn’t want to settle in my hometown. I left a long-term relationship because I felt I had settled for less than what I deserved. Those two little words hold a certain power to me that I will hold close forever. 

I am excited to preach them to my potential future kids and their friends. I hope I have half the impact that my dad did when it came to that chunk of wisdom."

8. "Meet People Where They Are" —Carl, 57

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"After getting my first full-time job out of college, I found it very hard to deal with some of my colleagues. I found some of them to not have a strong work ethic, resourcefulness, creativity, and sense of innovation. Many of them did. My father gave me some of the best advice I have ever gotten. He told me that I often expected too much of people, and if I continue to do that, would always be disappointed. He said it would be better for me to meet them where they are and take it from there. That shift in mindset has helped me be successful in my career and life."

9. "Don't Let Anyone Else Drive Your Car" - Mary, 24

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"The best advice I’ve ever gotten was, 'Don’t let anyone else drive your car.' My dad gave me that advice when I was learning to drive and feeling super guilty about being the slowest, most hesitant driver on the road. I got honked at a lot and felt a ton of pressure to just go faster, switch lanes, or make turns, even if I wasn’t 100% confident in the move. My dad’s advice reminded me that every choice I made while driving needed to be MY choice. That advice empowered me and gave me a sense of control. It also put things in a totally new light for me. 

Before, I’d felt guilty for being a burden and inconvenience to others. If I gave in to what they wanted, I no longer felt that guilt. While I was aware that mindset was definitely unhealthy for my own self-worth, I hadn’t considered how it could be harmful to other people in my life too. My dad’s advice helped me see the bigger picture. The people in other cars have their own interests, they just want me out of the way, and they may not care what happens to me or the other people on the road. By doing what they wanted of me, I’d only be helping them reach their selfish goals and could actually put other people in danger in the process. It’d be completely irresponsible and selfish of me to allow that to happen just so I could feel like a 'nice' person.

I’ve tried to apply that advice to other areas of my life as well. For example, in group projects, I’ve pretty much never been the 'leader.' I’d do my share of the work, but let other people make the big decisions and usually just went along with whatever they chose. But, in college, I made much more of an effort to have my ideas heard. Like my car, my grades are my responsibility, and I shouldn’t just let others have full authority over decisions that affect me."

10. "Forgiving's Pretty Hard, so I've Made an Art out of Forgiving Well" —Hannah, 18

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"I know this isn't from a mom or grandparent or deep philosophical book, but these lyrics from Miranda Lambert's song 'Bluebird' have stuck with me for years since it first came out. Girl's been through a lot in life already even though I think she's only in her 30s. That message of making an art out of forgiving well because it's so hard to do hit me from the first time the song played on the radio.

I'm only 18, and I know I still have a lot of life ahead of me. A lot of life where a lot of things are going to happen that piss me off, hurt me, make me feel dejected and silly and sad. I've already had one girl break my heart, and I'm sure there will be more to come. I've had classmates flake out on group projects, and I've had colleges reject me for early admission. A friend who forgot my birthday here, a mail carrier that threw my package to the doorstep and broke the contents there. I know the 'power of forgiveness' or whatever, but hearing what Miranda Lambert had to say about it put things into perspective for me. 

'Forgiving's pretty hard,' she said, and man is she right. People piss me off all the time, and while I typically end up getting over it after a while, I haven't really worked on working through forgiveness in a healthy and useful way. Making an art out of forgiving well is taking time to do, but in my mind, it's totally worth it. If I can learn to forgive gracefully, carefully, and in a time frame that allows me to feel my feelings but not let them run rampant and control me, I think I'll be a lot happier in life and burn a lot fewer bridges."

11. "There's Nothing You Could Ever Want or Need That You Don't Already Have and Are" —Devon, 36

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"'There's nothing you could ever want or need that you don't already have and are.' As funny as it sounds, one of the most influential pieces of advice is from the movie I Heart Huckabees. Hearing this quote changed my mindset. I live by speaking your reality because once you speak it into the universe, that's what it becomes. If you want a car, save for it and make it happen. Believe in yourself, and that will carry you forward. 

I would never have thought I would be opening my own business, but because I nurtured the positive relationships around me and did not focus on the setbacks, I found what I needed to make that happen. When I think of this quote, I think, why focus on the negatives when they do not get you anywhere? Why focus on damaging relationships when amazing ones are there? When you make life what you want, you are tapping into the potential that has always been inside yourself. Because this quote gave me this mindset, I've been able to accomplish things I've never thought possible."

12. "You Are Exactly Where You Need to Be" —Leo, 44

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"Susan was an artist who loved collecting advice and aiming to inspire.  She was a dear friend and college housemate who passed away too early while birthing twins seven years ago. Her authenticity always did and still does ring true, and I think of her often. 

I had picked up a bold, blue, and yellow ombre postcard from one of her art exhibits, proudly declaring, 'You are exactly where you need to be.' I framed this reminder to be present. It helps bring assurance to the knowledge that the place where you can make the most difference, at this very moment, is where you are at this time. It's caught my eye many a time on a rough day, when fantasizing about being elsewhere or questioning life's purpose, and helped me to root back into the ground. One step at a time."

13. "Pause" —Eric, 59

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"Life is coming at us so fast today. Social media and the internet have accelerated our interactions. And the COVID pandemic has shortened our fuses. I think we all need to learn the art of the cognitive pause. When we see something that is amazing or interesting and you want to pass it on, pause for a moment and ask, 'Is this real?' If you’re not sure, then go investigate. Even more so if a post or an email or a text makes you pissed off, pause for a moment before responding. 

Use the pause to ask, 'Is my anger justified, or is this the collective weariness of COVID that has created a hair trigger emotional response?' And even if my anger is justified, what purpose will be served by responding in anger? And…you don’t know what hard or awful thing that person had to deal with before they did something that pissed you off.

Pause."

14. "Be Very Organized With Your Money" —Natalia, 33

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"Probably the best advice I have ever gotten is from my parents when I was growing up in Colombia. They always told me to be very organized with my money, and work for whatever I wanted to get. They also advised me to not ask for money to borrow, and that could be the worst of the things ever. So, I remember my mom giving me a piggy bank to fill it up with coins of $500 pesos COL (about $25 cents), to save some money for whenever I wanted to spend it on something I really wanted. Also, I remember her teaching me to take part of the money they would give me for my 'snacks' at school and save it. This is how, when I did my first trip to the United States, I was able to buy things I really wanted at the Warner Bros. Store in Orlando, Florida. I was about 10 years old, and I was able to buy myself a sweater with my favorite characters from Warner Brothers and a watch. Almost 25 later, the sweater is still with me, and I use it. 

This advice is something very valuable to me. It has helped me to value things in a more 'honest' way. Get what I really want and I will use it, instead of doing it just because. This is not only in material things, but in everything. For instance, when I went to college and then grad school, I only did it because I had planned, worked, and saved the money I needed for that. Otherwise, I would have probably never done it. Somehow (and luckily), I don't have a tendency for being a compulsive shopper, and whenever I feel like that, I remind myself to be more thoughtful about it. Likewise, I think it has taught me to respect others and conserve relationships because there are boundaries that are key for that, and money is one of those."

15. "Things Can Be Replaced; People Can't Be" —Tim, 24

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"One night I was at a Christmas party at a coworker friend's house, and it was getting pretty late so I decided to head home. I wasn't far from home, but I was getting really tired and accidentally nodded off at the wheel and crashed. I'd only had one beer, and I definitely wasn't intoxicated from alcohol, but after working an incredibly long shift and then socializing at a party, I guess I was simply exhausted, which I now know can be as dangerous as alcohol intoxication sometimes. Luckily, I got out without a scratch and didn't hit any other car or house — but I did hit a tree. 

I was so worried that my parents would be so upset over the car being ruined, and I felt just terrible about the entire ordeal. Then, my dad told me, 'It's just a car. What matters is that you are OK. You can always buy a thing again, but you can't come back to life if we lost you.' 

We become so attached to things that when we lose them and break them we sometimes feel like it's the end of the world. People drown clinging to their bags when ferry boats sink. People lose their minds when they slip, fall, and find their phone smashed along the way. I'm not saying that it's OK to be careless with your physical things, nor is it OK to drive when you're that tired and could potentially put yourself or others in danger, but I am saying that when those mistakes do happen, the most important thing isn't the thing that gets broken. The most important thing is that you are OK, that you came out of whatever happened (and that you learn from your mistakes). Things can be replaced — people can't."

16. "Follow Your Bliss" —Sandy, 85

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"As a child I never quite fit into my world; I always felt different. I was an only child born into a loving and supportive Jewish family in the mid-1930s in Brooklyn, New York, but there were always expectations. A nice Jewish girl would go to college, become a teacher, and marry a Jewish doctor, lawyer, or accountant. As anticipated, I did enter Brooklyn College at age 16 but found a new world of philosophy, psychology, social science, and, best of all, anthropology, which became my major — something my parents never heard of.  When they also permitted me to go to Florida at winter break via Greyhound Bus with college friends who were years older than I, my parents got pressure and hell from the entire family.

While still in college, I hitchhiked through Europe with friends and after college decided I wanted to explore the world a little more and so worked for a major NYC travel firm (I never became a teacher).

On one of my jaunts, I met a handsome Dane (Danish man), a Lutheran. We fell in love, and after three days we decided we would marry. Now, 61 years and 4 children later, we are still a loving couple. At times over the years, it was a struggle, but apparently I always knew I had to grow into who I would be and follow the magic that was meant for me. But it wasn’t until sometime in the '70s that the words about how I had needed to become me were articulated by the philosopher Joseph Campbell when he said, 'Follow your bliss.' When I heard those words, for the first time I clearly understood that’s what life was all about, finding and becoming me."

17. "The Harder You Try, the Slower You Go" —Cameron, 53

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"The best advice I’ve ever gotten was from my coach on the luge team, who once told me, 'The harder you try, the slower you go.' I never like to assume that everyone knows what luge is, so to give this advice a little context, it’s the sport where you race down an iced track on your back at about 90 mph. It’s also the only Olympic sport that’s timed to the thousandth (as in, 0.001) of a second, so every training run, every session in the weight room, everything you do is focused on preparing you for race day.

I was the type of athlete who wanted to drive the perfect line down the track and didn’t like to make any mistakes. Ever. You’d think that would have made me faster, but it usually didn’t. One of the challenges I had was being uber-prepared and then overthinking what I needed to do when I got on my sled. The advice from my coach was a reminder that once you’ve done everything within your control to prepare, on race day, you need have to have faith in yourself and let the sled go. It’s just you and the sled and the ice, and nothing else in that moment matters. Don’t think — just do.

If you’re wondering whether this advice applies to anything other than luge, it actually does! My coach’s words have served me well in my professional career — as a lawyer, professor at NYU, arbitrator, and artist. In each of those areas of my life, there’s a lot of time that I spend intensely focused on preparation. But then when the moment arrives — teaching a class or hearing an arbitration or creating new artwork — I let myself be present in the moment and do exactly what I have prepared myself to do. I let the sled run and trust that the universe will help me find the right line."

Cameron Myers a four-time Olympic athlete, lawyer, artist, professor, and dog-mom to her rescue chiweenie, Flash. 

18. "If YOU Want to Have Sex, Have Sex!" —Kathy, 57

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"I got this advice from a good friend years ago; she was a little bit older than I and already had daughters. She said that she would tell them, 'If you want to have sex, have sex, as long as it's because YOU want to, not because he does. If YOU want to, do it (but always use protection!).' As I had my own daughters, I thought it was a great way to talk to them about making choices related to sex and open a dialogue about the topic with my kids. It's crucial for them to be in charge of their bodies and their choices, and that advice just always stuck with me as a short and sweet way to let them know it's up to THEM. If you want to have sex, have sex — just always use protection." 

19. "Always Stand Up/Advocate for Yourself and What You Know Is Right and Best for You" —Keenan, 24

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"The best advice I was ever given came from a senior military officer who told me to always stand up for and advocate for myself and what I know is right and best for me. He said that no one will be a greater proponent for achieving your goals and dreams than you, and you should never be afraid to speak up for yourself in the face of adversity since no one else is going to want whatever you want as much as you. 

This advice was given to me as I started my military career and has served me well ever since. Through hard work and determination I have proved myself to be a capable leader and dependable person. There have been jobs and positions that I strived to achieve, and being bold and advocating for myself that I am the best fit for the job and deserve it, while also backing up what I’m saying with my previous performance, has allowed me to get those jobs. I think the adage 'fortune favors the bold' is often true, and I always try to be bold and unafraid to achieve what I want. 

A lot can be accomplished just through perseverance and audaciousness, and if you want something badly enough, you should never be afraid to advocate for yourself so you can reach your dreams."

20. "Do a Yearly Birthday Check-In" —Margaret, 35

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"I truly forget where I read this advice a long time ago... But I know that I read it somewhere online while mindlessly scrolling. I didn't quite know what the writer was talking about, but once I read her full explanation, it made SO MUCH SENSE TO DO. 

She basically explained that your birthday every year is a great time to do a deep reflection on the things going on in your life: your relationships, goals, diet, mental health, etc. By checking in with ourselves once a year, for five minutes or for several hours, we can eliminate toxicity, identify what may have been a long-running blind spot, set new goals, and just generally have a 'life check-up' with ourselves, almost like we do with our bodies at our yearly physicals. 

I set a reminder on my phone to do it every single year the day before my birthday now. That way, I get the hard work out of the way on the last day of my own yearly calendar. I've found it helps me to enjoy my birthday more because I truly took the time to learn from the events of the past year, refresh my mind, and begin the next chapter on a positive note of growth."

21. "Keep It Simple, Stupid" —Hailey, 26

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"LOL, so this advice is from The Office. Technically, it's from the character Michael Scott, who gives it to Dwight. I know it's supposed to be a quick joke, but it actually did stick in my silly little head when I heard it. I tend to overthink and overcomplicate things, like, all the time. Whenever I can, I try to just take a step back and do one thing at a time, to simplify what I'm working on, and to stop overthinking. Keeping things simple helps you keep a lot of stress from entering your headspace, and my headspace is something I greatly value. I want to take back ownership over it from the anxious thoughts and feelings! Whenever you start to overcomplicate situations, just K.I.S.S.: keep it simple, stupid!"

22. "You Can Try Your Hardest, Do Your Absolute Best, and Still Fail — Learn To Accept That" —Bob, 41

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"I've heard this advice in many forms from many sources, but I remember it specifically being said in a certain way that resonated with me on an old episode of Star Trek. I looked it up so that I could get it correct, and, as I should have remembered, it was said by the iconic Captain Picard. He said, 'It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.'

It's a hard frickin' pill to swallow. We're always taught, by our parents, teachers, friends, etc., that if we work hard, work our hardest, that we can succeed at anything. Treat people how you want to be treated. Never give up. Practice makes perfect. But sometimes, you go out of your way to be kind to that nasty coworker, and they still won't say good morning back, even after five years. Sometimes you stay up all night making the most beautiful cupcakes, using up all of your mom's expensive food coloring to get them just right, and no one buys any at the bake sale. Sometimes you work on the perfect pitch for over a month, and your boss still picks someone else's proposal over yours. 

Sometimes we do every single thing right, we work our butts off, and we feel so sure that this time we are going to win... And then, against all the odds we've formulated in our minds, we lose. It sucks. But like Captain Picard said, 'That is life.' It doesn't mean that we are screw-ups; it only means that we cannot always win. That notion has helped me learn to let go of my search for constant affirmation, perfection, and wild successes. I can't have those things all of the time, even when I try my hardest, when I'm kind, when I practice over and over and over... I can still fail sometimes. And that has to be OK."

23. "Take Everything One Step at a Time" —Colby, 13

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"During online school, I was feeling unmotivated and struggled to do anything. I would spend lots of time with noise in the background while I thought about everything I should be doing. One day my teacher started talking about mental health and how easy it was to just feel like everything was hopeless. He offered many pieces of advice, but one stuck out to me: 'Take everything one step at a time.' He then expanded on it by saying that we could start with just making a to-do list and adding something simple on it to be able to get it done first. 

I decided to try it. I first started with just taking care of my skin. Then, I started to work harder on school work. Then, I started to clean up my room. I still struggle from time to time, but I remind myself to break it up into chunks and work from there."

24. "Always Send Thank You Notes" —Rebecca, 25

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"My mom would always nag me to send thank you notes for everything. Birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, hostess gifts, being invited to sleepovers, literally everything. I would get SO annoyed because, like she taught me, I did say thank you as soon as I got the gift or at the end of a sleepover for being invited over and given food. Why should I have to send a physical thank you note when they already know I'm thankful?

It took me too long to realize that the gesture of a thank you note goes a really, really long way. It shows that you took the time to sit and think of why you were grateful for something someone did or gave to you, and it can make that person incredibly happy. It can help you forge stronger personal and professional relationships, and it just generally reminds people that you noticed their kindness. I literally always send thank you notes now, and I bug my friends to do the same. My mom will probably be happy to know that I sent a thank you note after my first Zoom interview for a post-grad job...and then I got the job. Whether or not it was the thank you note or just my dazzling video call personality, I'm gonna go ahead and credit my mom's advice. Always send a thank you note!"

25. "Be Generous" —Anna, 50

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"Some of the best advice I have received was from the (former) Co-CEO, Marnie Webb at TechSoup: 'Be generous.' We worked at a nonprofit that worked in collaboration with many, many other nonprofits. We had some information that another nonprofit needed, and Marnie asked me to share it with no expectation of anything in return. We often shared our experiences, our time, and even our computer code generously. I found that generosity was returned over and over again. People trusted me more because they knew that I wasn't trying to get something from them with each transaction. Therefore, when I did ask, others were willing to share. 

Marnie said this in the context of work, but I find that it applies to every aspect of my life: family, friends, even to myself. I share my things, my time, my experiences, and my love with others in need, and the people in my life never leave me wanting."

26. "This Too Shall Pass and Life Goes On" —Soyoon, 25

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"I have two pieces of advice to share because they are both so important to me.

The first best advice I have ever heard was, 'This too shall pass.' I never meant to keep this phrase in my heart and always follow it, but now that I look back, constant belief in a silver lining at the end of a dark tunnel brought me to my current life. My mom gave me the advice six years ago when I left my home in Korea and came to America for the first time, and my boyfriend’s mom recently reminded me again when I was struggling with my job. Ever since I came to America to go to a college, my life in California hasn’t always been sunny. 

My first month in the States was so challenging because even ordering a cup of coffee at Starbucks was such a big task for me. Especially after a cashier made a fool of me for not saying Americano correctly, I never thought I would be better at speaking or writing in English. Well, that did pass, and now I have a full-time job and probably make more money than that cashier girl. It took a few years for me to catch up with the language (although my writing skills still need some work 😋), but what the advice really taught me was that being patient is a key to pass through the dark ages. It has been such a journey to survive and still is, but now I know, this too shall pass.

The second piece of advice kind of goes hand in hand with the first but came from a much different source: BTS. 

The great piece of advice that I got from them was in the title and lyrics of the BTS song 'Life Goes On.' A few months ago, after a long day at work, I was so excited to get back home with my '06 Prius when, walking up to it, I spotted a police report note on the windshield that said I needed to reach out to them. Then I started looking around where my car was parked and found some bolts and nuts. My heart dropped to 100 feet underground, and I tried starting my car hoping that it was not a big deal. Of course, it was a big deal; someone stole my car’s catalytic converter. I called my boyfriend immediately, and he drove his car to me right away. Being a car savant, he suggested switching our cars to drive home, so that he could trouble shoot in case my Prius decided to stop working.

Funnily enough, after being drenched in sadness and disappointment in humanity, the first song that played when I connected my phone to his car was 'Life Goes On' by BTS. I was planning to cry through that 20-minute drive home, but that song gave me a wake-up call. Yes, my catalytic converter was stolen, and my poor Prius sounded like a modded Honda Civic, but oh well, my life was still going on. Instead of crying my eyes out at home, I got to thinking of positive things that the robber could not steal from me: my boyfriend, my job, and my friends. All of the sudden, I was more thankful about what I had, not what I lost. After all, as BTS said, life goes on, and I learned to focus on beloved people around me, not the physical things that can be replaced.

This Too Shall Pass. Life Goes On!"

27. "Be Careful With Hindsight and Don't Dwell on the Past" — Angela, 50

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"The best advice I’ve ever received was in two parts: in order to grow and keep moving forward with my life, [I had to] not allow hindsight to change how I remember my decisions and not dwell in the past. There are always decisions we make that we regret later, but regret doesn’t change the decision that was made. I used to give myself a really hard time about what I 'should have known' or done, but it was pointed out to me once that regardless of what I believe I 'should have' known or done, I didn’t at the time. The reality is we can’t change the past. I can do or say whatever I want, contextualize a decision, but it won't change. 

Reality is always moving forward, and the only thing to really do is to acknowledge and learn for the future. Whether it means forgiving, changing a current course of action, or just remembering so I don’t repeat a mistake, I have to be honest with myself. Honest about who I was at the time, what I knew at the time, the information/setting/condition at that time that led me to make the choice I made. By being honest about it, I can think about it, acknowledge what I’d do differently — any mistakes or gaps — and remember it for the future and move on."

28. “If People Could Do Better, They Would" —Eva, 24

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"I’ve actually had two wise women in my life give me this advice — my mom and my dear friend Kate. I have always interpreted it as an offer of kindness and understanding toward people and myself. It allows me to extend grace to people. 

Back in my bartending days, if someone was rude or short, I would repeat this quote like a mantra. If that person could be softer, kinder, more understanding, they would be. Whether they are still growing in life or having a bad day, if they could have done better, they would have. While I never use this advice to excuse people’s bad behavior, it does allow me to not take things personally or blame myself for others’ actions. 

I also have found this advice invaluable to my own actions. It reminds me to be kind to myself when the going gets tough. As I currently go through deep grief after the loss of one of the women who gave me the advice, my mother, I use the guidance to treat myself with respect and gentleness. I have been using it to propel myself forward to become a better person but realize that I simply am at where I am in this journey called life. Every day is a new step of trying to be better, and we are all taking those steps to try the best we can."

29. "Use It Up, Wear It Out, Make It Do or Do Without" —Bekah, 25

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"The best piece of advice I’ve received…so many people and thoughts flood my mind because people are always trying to tell you what worked best for them. Anyone can give advice, and you'll catch me shrugging it off because as a 25-year-old I obviously know everything. What stays in my mind regardless of trying to think of a better story is a quote my mother painted on a live edged wooden piece of pine above our front door. 'Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.' 

I still think about this quote on the daily. I seek items and materials with stories because they still have more life to live, more to wear, more to experience and give. Catch me with some shoes worn down to the ball of my foot because that’s what they're meant to do. Meant to see every step I take, every terrain I conquer, touch the surface of the earth before I do. So yeah, I guess my best piece of advice has come from my mother…imagine that."

30. "Listen to Your Heart" —Thalia, 53

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"As a daughter, sister, wife, mother, and friend, you receive lots of advice through the years from anyone and everyone who sees you struggling. I truly can't pick out one specific [piece] of advice; some you take and implement into your everyday life so it just becomes part of your routine. Others, you might try to use, and it just doesn't work for you. 

When you're a daughter, you're told to listen to your parents and be respectful — this is good advice that I do use. As a sister, don't fight with your siblings; they are family, and the only ones you can count on to be there when everyone else in your life is gone. Wife, you should support your husband through good times and bad; that's one I try to do, but sometimes it's very difficult. As a mother, advice overload! Too many to state. Friend, I have a shoulder to cry on and someone to lend an ear. 

I guess if I did have to choose just one, the advice I use most often is to listen to your gut and your heart. I believe that it is the Holy Spirit guiding you, though others may call it their conscious. The times I did not listen to my heart I end up wishing that I had."

31. "You Don't Always Have to Say 'No'; You Can Set Boundaries or Make a Compromise" —Diane, 59

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"As I was starting my family, my boss was sending his kids off to college. He was more than happy to share child-rearing tidbits and advice with me. I have always remembered one story in particular. He would tell his kids, 'You don’t have a curfew, but my car does. If you want to borrow my car, it has to be home at 11:00.'  Now, I never got to use this line because [living in a city] I don’t own a car! But it taught me that you don’t always have to say ‘no,' that you can set boundaries or make a compromise."

32. "If People Want to Underestimate You, Let Them, and Everything in Life Is a Choice" —Kate, 50

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"So I have two. The first: 'If people want to underestimate you, let them. It’s better than being overestimated.'

It was told to me when I was taking a pre-law class in college. The woman who said it was an entertainment lawyer. She was young and disarmingly pretty, and her point was people made assumptions about her and were constantly outmaneuvered by her because they underestimated her abilities. That part of her life strategy was to take advantage of that.

And it hit me at the time. As a short, very young-looking, quite smiley woman, I was always feeling like I was being dismissed and not taken seriously. I would spend time and effort trying to show how smart and competent I was and would get angry and frustrated when I wasn’t immediately treated that way. I realized I should lean in to people’s underestimation and use their incorrect assumptions to my advantage. It’s something I still do.

The other one that I think of all the time is, 'Everything in life is a choice. Once you realize that, you’re a lot happier,' which was said by an acquaintance of an aunt of mine.

The point of that one is that life is full of obligations. Obligations are a burden, and you can feel trapped in them, but if you realize that every obligation is a choice, then suddenly you can make an evaluation about whether you want to do the obligation. Am I obligated to visit my aging grandparents, or am I choosing to see them because it will make them happy, make my mother happy, and because I know there are repercussions if I don’t (like getting yelled at by mom)? If it’s an obligation, I have no choice. If it is a choice, I can say, 'Does the benefit I receive by not getting yelled at by mom and all these other people being happy outweigh my unhappiness at doing this thing?' Once it’s a choice, life is much happier.

I remember having an argument recently with a woman complaining about her kids' lousy school district, and when I asked her why she didn’t just move to a good one she told me about how high her taxes would be and she would have to move into a house half the size. She was really mad when I said that was her choice. But it was. She felt as if she was a victim of the lousy school system, but really she had just made a choice to live in a place with lower taxes so she could have a higher standard of living. She would have been much happier if she realized that."

33. “It's Lovely You Demons Came Today — We Should Converse More Often" —Lee, 34

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“'It's lovely you demons came today — we should converse more often.' I read this a long time ago in the book When Things Fall Apart. I wrote it down immediately, and I have written it down several times after that, since it is a quote that really reflects my life. I’ve made mistakes, done bad things, and seen bad things. Instead of punishing myself for those things, this quote has always reminded me that I am more than those negative experiences. The positive ways I’ve grown and changed my life are because of those mistakes I have made. Without facing my demons, I would have never been able to live a life I’m proud of and get myself out of where I was."

34. "Listen to Your Heart and Follow Your Dreams, Once You Have Carefully Decided What You Truly Want From This Very Short Life" —Jade, 79

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"My parents instilled in me at an early age the importance of a good education. They sacrificed so that I would be able to attend private schools because they felt this was the best way to accomplish this goal. I managed to complete three years of college, one of which was studying abroad in Italy. Following this experience, I gave careful and considerable thought to what my real goals in life were. I concluded that what I really wanted my primary goal to be was marriage and motherhood since I felt such a strong and burning calling to be a full-time mother. 

So, not long thereafter, I chose to marry and start a family, a decision that I have never regretted. I ultimately gave birth to five lovely children, the oldest of whom suddenly passed away in her early 30s. I have never regretted the decision I made, and but for the hysterectomy I later had to have, I would have loved to have even more children. 

I believe the moral of this story is listen to your heart and follow your dreams once you have carefully decided what you truly want from this very short life. I am now 79 years old, and the only regret I have is the inability to have even more lovely children. And in case you are wondering, we now have 16 wonderful grandchildren."

35. "Say Yes to Opportunities" —Bella, 25

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"The best advice I’ve received, so far, is to say yes to opportunities. About two years ago, I was out of a job due to the pandemic, and I was stressed out about whether or not to go back and finish my education so I could have job security. I was doing some babysitting for a summer family that turned into an offer to move back to their home state with them and work as a full-time au pair. Without really thinking about it, I just said yes because of a conversation I had with my uncle. He and I had discussed the fact that you can’t plan for everything. Sometimes things go awry despite your best efforts, so instead of stressing twice (once before making a decision, and once after you’ve made your choice and it doesn’t work out how you wanted it to), just say yes and save yourself half the turmoil. If it doesn’t work out, at least you didn’t waste any energy before hand. And if it does work out, great! 

So anyway, I moved with the summer family, and when I was offered a different job while working for them, I said yes again, and now I’m back home with a good job and new tools in my life skills tool box. And I saved myself the headache of decision making. I realize, unlike myself, some may enjoy or even need the control exercised in the process of calculated decision making. The yes method isn’t for everyone. Me, I like to think as little as possible to avoid unpleasant feelings and emotions, so it works pretty well for me. Until it gets me into trouble one day. But I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it."

36. "You Shouldn't Do Anything Unless You're Passionate About It" —Nate, 19

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"The best advice I ever came across is that you shouldn't do anything unless you're passionate about it. This was the best advice for me because it came at a time when I needed it the most. I was in college, and I didn’t know what I was doing there. I was studying something that I enjoyed doing but had no desire to make a career. But after I read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, it not only gave me the confidence to go and start my own business but taught me that I shouldn’t waste my life doing something that I didn’t enjoy. 

In the book, the author emphasizes how people are stuck in 'the rat race' and end up spending their life working and doing things they don't love. He explains how you can do what you love if you're passionate about it and work hard for it. While I read this book, things just clicked in my head of what I had to do. After the semester was over, I dropped out and started my own business. I'm still working on it to see if it's a success or not, but I'm excited to see where it will take me." 

37. "Take Time to Reflect on the Things That Are Really Important in Your Lives, Be Grateful for the Blessings You Have Received, and Learn to See the Goodness in Others" —Paul, 79

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"As I reflect on my 79-plus years on this earth, I have asked myself what my life has been about and what has bean of most significance to me. There have been many ups and downs, but I finally came to the realization that the most significant accomplishments were not what I did but rather the blessings I have received over the years. In my opinion, the greatest blessings were not things I had done but rather blessings bestowed upon me and my family by God, the greatest of these being the family I was born into, my mother given to me by God himself, a God-loving father, a brother, two sisters, and my faith. Life has not been perfect: My oldest sister survived breast cancer, my brother survived polio, and my younger sister overcame serious hearing problems. I accomplished many things over the years such as High School Valedictorian, Student Body President, other school leadership positions, a full ride college scholarship, and other awards. I even spent two years in the seminary studying to become a priest, but nothing compared to the family I was born into, my faith, and in particular my mother — a real honest to God prayer warrior who actually at the age of 7 years had an Honest to God vision of Jesus Himself. 

I held management positions in the company I worked for, I have a wonderful brother and two terrific sisters, but it was my mother who taught me to pray and love God with all of my heart, and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was the first born and oldest child in the family, and the first three years of my life were spent pretty exclusively with her. She taught me about God and how to pray. But it was not until my mother's death and burial at the age of 95 years and one week that I fully realized while standing at her grave site what an amazing role she had played in my life and spiritual growth. 

So, in closing, may I suggest: If those of you reading this haven't done so, take time to reflect on the things that are really important in your lives, be grateful for the blessings you have received, and learn to see the goodness in others. Say hello to a stranger. I once did, and the person told me that they were thinking of committing suicide and as a result decided not to."

38. "The Key to Being Successful Is to Be Organized" —Elizabeth, 56

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"Back when I first started at a new company, I received some great advice from manager. She told me, 'The key to being successful is to be organized.' Organization was not a new concept for me. Making lists was something I did generally; but I took this tip to heart and have applied it strategically and successfully both in my work life and home life.

I began creating folders both online and physically to store information that I was learning and retain documents that would become reference for tasks and projects I worked on. These folders became extremely helpful to quickly put my hands on items I needed daily. As I obtained more folders, I also employed the use of color coding to distinguish, identify, and group similar subject matters. To maintain these folders, it was important to constantly keep them current, deleting outdated or irrelevant data so as not to be confused or reference anything but up-to-date materials.

Another way I organize my day is to list out 'To Do Items' based on those with the highest priority. As they are completed, I check them off and move on to the next item. As new tasks come in, these are merged into the outstanding remaining items. Every day before I leave, I always update my To Do list and move any outstanding things to the next day, which also gives me a glimpse of what is upcoming to be accomplished. 

My manager was pleased to see that I had been able to obtain so many references materials in a short time and how I utilized them to become proficient in my new role. It was not long before I was promoted to a higher level. She also recommended that I share my organizational strategy with peers. I enjoy sharing my organizational skills with others, and it has proved to keep me on point, up to date, and have never missed a deadline. Not bad for 30-plus years with the same company."

39. "Trust Your Gut" —George, 62

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"Intuition is a powerful tool. By following the advice that my dear mother gave to me when I'd leave the house as a kid or teenager or for college, to 'trust my gut' or 'follow my intuition,' I've steered clear of a handful of dicey situations. But there is one that sticks out in my mind in particular.

I once had a bad feeling when getting ready to head off to a get-together at a friend's house in high school. I could not put my finger on it, but, for some reason, I became overwhelmed with the knowledge that I should not go. I came quite close to convincing myself that I was being silly before my mother's advice once again came to mind. I decided not to go. Later that night when the party was in full swing, some neighbors called the police, who came and broke it all up. Several of my friend's parents were called, which resulted in many groundings and stripped privileges. 

Of course, there are much more perilous things that our guts warn us about all the time. Walking to your car in a dark garage, or those fancy doorbells that show you a video of a shady figure on your lawn that you just know isn't right. You should trust your gut then, too, but it also goes for the simpler things. While all I avoided was likely a grounding and a feeling of shame, I'm glad I listened to my gut all those years ago."

40. "The 24/48 Rule" —Zephyr, 24

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"The idea of the 24/48 thing was introduced to me by a dear friend from college almost a year ago. We hadn't spoken in a while and got together to catch up and clear the air of any discomfort that was born from why we hadn't talked in so long. The discussion was necessary and important and ended up taking us on a journey into other areas of our lives that we could lend an ear on. As I started talking about the frustrations in my relationship, she offered me some of the best advice I've EVER gotten. While I don't always remember to follow it, I try to as often as possible. 

'Have you heard of the 24/48 rule?' she asked me. 'When something/someone upsets you, take a step back for 24 hours. If after those 24 hours you still feel upset about it, bring it up within the next 48 hours.' Basically, taking those 24 hours to cool off can help to prevent arguments, overreactions, and making things worse overall. But the 48-hour part that comes after helps ensure that if something truly is bothering you, even after you calm down from the initial event, you bring it up in a timely fashion rather than letting your disconcertion fester. 

One day, about four months later, my boyfriend did something that made me instantly fill with rage. I wanted to scream! But my friend's words came floating through my mind before I did (thankfully), and I managed to take a deep breath and say to myself, 'If this still bothers you at this time tomorrow, have a conversation with him about it.' The next morning, I literally couldn't even remember what I was mad about. Like, it had completely and totally left my mind altogether. By following that simple advice, I avoided an overreaction that could have spiraled into a huge argument. While I've definitely slipped up since then (many times), I'm trying to remember the 24/48 rule much more often in all areas of my life: work, home, social events, everything."