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Ryan Murphy CALL ME!

I Have The Perfect Idea For Your Next "Feud."

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Is anyone else already obsessed with 'Feud'?

I will admit I am a terrible gay and have never seen "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane." But BOY-O-BOY I am going to snatch the nearest VHS copy and put that puppy in.

I will admit I am a terrible gay and have never seen "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane." But BOY-O-BOY I am going to snatch the nearest VHS copy and put that puppy in.

The costumes, THE DRAMA!, the makeup, the wheelchairs! This series is giving me life. I know Ryan Murphy has already announced next season will be about Charles and Diana but that sounds BORING. Scrap that because the next great FEUD is...

RONALD MCDONALD vs. THE BURGER KING

It has the costumes, the MAKEUP, the DRAMA!, and all the restaurants are wheelchair accessible. But because I know Ryan Murphy is busy being a DADDY I have taken the liberty of casting it myself. See below!

Ronald McDonald- Susan Sarandon

Skimp on the budget and use the SAME MAKEUP.

Skimp on the budget and use the SAME MAKEUP.

The Burger King- Sarah Paulson

I get a real Marcia Clark vibe from the king so I think this role would fit her nicely.

I get a real Marcia Clark vibe from the king so I think this role would fit her nicely.

Hamburglar- Jessica Lange

Don't think I forgot Ms. Lange! Word on the street is she can eat a hamburger take after take! This role has RANGE BAYBAY!

Don't think I forgot Ms. Lange! Word on the street is she can eat a hamburger take after take! This role has RANGE BAYBAY!

Birdie the Early Bird- Miley Cyrus

I know! Miley has never been in a Ryan Murphy show, but this is the perfect role for her. Turn her into a true actress! You heard it here first people!

I know! Miley has never been in a Ryan Murphy show, but this is the perfect role for her. Turn her into a true actress! You heard it here first people!

Mayor McCheese- Patti Lupone

Just think about that mouth with a piece of yellow american cheese in it! TERRIFYING.

Just think about that mouth with a piece of yellow american cheese in it! TERRIFYING.

Captain Crook- Kathy Bates

Kathy Bates always gets the short end of the stick and nothing will change here. Never seen this character before but McDonald's claims he's an ICON. Just like MS. BATES!

Kathy Bates always gets the short end of the stick and nothing will change here. Never seen this character before but McDonald's claims he's an ICON. Just like MS. BATES!

Grimace- Lady Gaga

If this doesn't win me an Emmy for casting I do not know what will.

If this doesn't win me an Emmy for casting I do not know what will.

Fry Kids- Girls from Scream Queens

Scream Queens sucks and so do the fry kids!

Scream Queens sucks and so do the fry kids!

Burger King Kids- Cast of Glee

Note the wheel chair. Also Jane Lynch will play that pup with goggles.

Note the wheel chair. Also Jane Lynch will play that pup with goggles.

Wendy- Gabourey Sidibe

GUEST STAR ALERT! She would be so cute. Best role since Precious.

GUEST STAR ALERT! She would be so cute. Best role since Precious.

Get these Lady Gagas out of Susan Sarandon's hair!

Ugh such a good feud! RYAN MURPHY these ideas are MINE, but I will sell them to you! Contact my agent! You can find him working the night shift at the Mcdonald's off the 405.

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