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What Powerschool Comment Should You Write For That Kid?

What description best describes this child's aesthetic?

At the lunch table, which comment are you most likely to overhear from this student?

What career WOULD BE perfect for this humanoid?

Which dog makes you think of this student?

Comment you have most frequently uttered at this student during class?

Where are you most likely to find this student on a Friday night?

If you could say one of the following things to the parents of this child, what would it be?

"Mary Elizabeth has been an absolute delight to teach this year! She has risen to every challenge presented to her, and she could basically teach my class for me! She was a beacon of hope when those assholes in the fourth row made me want to break out the flask I keep in my filing cabinet! Thank you for keeping me sane! Bless you! "

The Perfect Human

"This student...ummm...is alive everyday in class. He or she actively consumes oxygen...and then expels carbon dioxide back into the atmosphere. I bet the plants are very appreciative. Student does not talk much...to anyone...that's all I got. Have a great summer?"

The "Is There" Human

"Aurelius displays an unusual amount of enthusiasm and energy for first period in the morning. Sometimes and presumably, he is so moved by the course content that he will raise himself and wander through the classroom like an intrepid hippie desperately seeking his buddy at Woodstock. Aurelius would benefit from practicing techniques to pay better attention in class...like not wandering around the classroom for no reason."

The "Can't Sit Still" Human

"Look, I get it. Sometimes we all have things pop up at the last second. But when I assign a project three weeks in advance, and you come to me the MORNING THE PROJECT IS DUE saying "omg the internet LITERALLY broke in my house" or "my mom surprised me with a last minute trip to Panama, and I couldn't meet with my group," I am less inclined to be sympathetic. That seems to always be the case with Bethany Joy. Bethany would benefit from better time management...or at least an acting class because I ain't buying this bullshit in Marking Period 3 no mo'."

The "Dumb Bullshit Excuse" Child

"I'm just gonna come out and say it. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, TODD. IT IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO FAIL THIS CLASS IF YOU DO THE F\*CKING HOMEWORK. JUST WRITE ANYTHING DOWN. WE DON'T EVEN CHECK FOR COMPLETENESS. GOD DAMNIT, WE HAVE 120 MORE DAYS TOGETHER, SO YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR."

The "Never Does the Homework" Human

"I know that sometimes learning Norwegian isn't as sexy as who Angeline hookup with in the stairwell 3rd period, but God, Sharon...everyday? Really?? I have moved your seat 7 times in 5 days, you have a 4% for class participation, and yet you still keep running your flappy lips to whomever will listen like a coked-out Kanye West with access to a microphone. Girl...I mean...come on, girl."

The "Talks in Class" Human

"Is there anything I can do for extra credit?" 
"But I worked really hard..."
"It's only a couple of points!"
"But if I don't get an A, my dad will take my phone away."  
Pardon me for not weeping at your tale, Katrina. Here's an idea: Do the regular credit?? And maybe study??   
Also asking me for free points undermines the integrity of my position to fairly evaluate all students equally and implies I somehow GAVE you this grade rather than you having earned it, so #Bai.

The "Grade Grubbing" Human

"Cindy Lou is a (pleasure; asset; ray of sunshine...etc.) (to have in class; to have as a student; to teach this year...etc.)   
She consistently (works well with others; completes all assignments to the best of her ability; is a role model to her peers...etc.).   
She is always (smiling; offering kind words to her peers; helping those in need...etc.)  
(Keep up the great work!; Brava!; Don't show this to your friends because they might have the same comment copied and pasted!)"

The "Generic Positive Comment" Human

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What Powerschool Comment Should You Write For That Kid?

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