College Is Just One Long Game Of Bullshit

Don't waste your money on college prep courses, just get really good at lying, cheating, and deceiving.

1. Go All In

It is no secret that college is expensive, you will be in debt for the rest of your life, do not miss out on opportunities because you are afraid to run up that bill. Unless you live within biking distance to your University, take out another loan and live there. Who actually wants to go to high school for 4 more years? Don't worry about the crippling debt you'll have in the future, just focus on getting a good enough job that will pay it off.

“who wishes to fight must first count the cost” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

2. Go to that awful 8am class

As much as you want to skip it, GO! You need those unexcused absences for when you oversleep because you're "sick", and if you do exceed the limit, be creative. Professors are not stupid, they know you just overslept on Friday morning. They too celebrated Thirsty Thursday in college, at least amuse them with a ridiculous attempt to get it excused. You'd be surprised they just might.

“The wise warrior avoids the battle.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

3. Plan Ahead

There comes a point around mid semester, every semester, when you'll be drowning in work, essays, projects, group projects, midterms are coming up, you'll get sick. Do not let it sink you. Before you do anything, come to terms with the fact that you're going to lose some sleep. Do yourself a favor, grab a coffee, put on some gangster rap, and plan ahead. At this point in the semester, you know your schedule, devise a plan of attack to efficiently get all of your work done on time. Create a calendar, list, put a note in your phone, something that you can physically see yourself cross off assignments as you complete them. If you stay organized you will get through it, I promise.

“Ponder and deliberate before you make a move.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

4. The homework you've been putting off for a month can not wait another few days...

You will absolutely lie to yourself every weekend "ill go out tonight and stay in tomorrow", hate to break it to you, but there a good chance you will not stay in the next day. Front load your work during the week so you don't have to convince yourself that you'll get it done over the weekend, cause you won't. You may not know it but you're a good liar, you take advantage of your weak self control every weekend. Be stronger than that, don't fall for your own deception, you will suffer.

“If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

5. Find an Outlet

College is stressful, there is no denying that, however the secret to not breaking is finding a way to safely destress. Although it may seem like going out with your friends will do the trick, but achieving total relaxation is key. Universities offer a plethora of opportunities and activities you could very well utilize. Don't let things get out of hand, its never to late to start.

“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity” - Sun Tzu, A Arte da Guerra

6. Love your roommate(s) like a brother or sister

First and foremost realize that siblings fight. So it's unrealistic to say that the relationship you have with your roommates will be perfect, but the beauty of family is they will always have your back. If you establish a mutual bond amongst everyone you live with, when times get tough, they'll be your lifeline.

“Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

7. Trouble on the home front

There is a right and wrong way to handle confrontation in your household. This is especially important because everyone handles situations differently. If you corner an individual and barrage him with conflict, there is no telling how it will end up. Household discussions and less direct blame is ideal for most situations. If you preface the conversation by pointing fingers, the defendant will likely become desperate and maybe dangerous which is never a good time...

When you surround an army, leave an outlet free. Do not press a desperate foe too hard.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

8. It gets easier

Like everything, college gets easier the more you do it. Yes you may be in shock for the firs few months, maybe even your first year, however with every upcoming semester although the work gets harder, being a student at a university gets easier. You develop techniques and strategies to get by that will make every semester just a little bit easier than the last. Learn from your past mistakes

“What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

9. Student advising

Most students don't graduate with a bachelors degree on time. But wait isn't that a 4-year degree, yes it is, but there is always complications. Learn from the mistakes that thousands of students make every single year, go to your advisor every semester. Even if its just a check up, if you sit down with them for ten minutes you'll figure out a plan to stay on track and graduate as soon as possible. No one actually likes school right? Don't stay longer than you have to.

“The wise warrior avoids the battle.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

10. Summer school

In grade/high school, summer school was the punishment of the century. In college, sometimes you just have to do it. If you fail a class, the only way to ensure you stay on track to graduate and maintain what ever financial benefits you are receiving is to study at that university, you have to just bite the bullet. The good news is most summer semesters are broken into 7-weeks rather than a normal 15-week semester, so it will be over before you know it.

“Attack is the secret of defense; defense is the planning of an attack.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War