Just timbsPrada loafers and an Armani shirt tucked into your crisp Gucci pantsYou only own one shirt so probably that oneWhatever Kanye was wearing the day beforeAnything UConnA shirt thats too smallAnything that'll get you shot by a cop on the walk overYour nicest kurtaWhatever Ven was wearing the day beforeWhatever was on sale at GAP kidsA basic hoe uniform
Half a Mike's HardJohnnie Walker Black LabelLime Burnetts and Hawaiian PunchPeach Burnetts and Powdered LemonadeTwo sips of champagneAnything that will get me drunk enough to kill the vibeA Ciroc bottle filled with waterA 30 of Bud lightThe Dubra bottle you found in a dumpsterAnything in a Gatorade bottleBeer brewed from the sweat of hipsters
The box of Gushers that's been under my bed for the last three monthsMy toothRishMy wifeYagmur SulemisVenMy eyebrowsMy chainMy memesMy manbunMy D-cup titties
r/NoFapr/NBAr/DankMemesr/TechnologyWhat is a subreddit?r/MaleFashionAdvicer/Cringer/Streetwearr/AnalCumSlutsr/WorldNewsAnything boring on the front page
Aziz AnsariRosie O'DonnellDanny DeVitoTom CruiseNick Kroll (Ruxin from The League)Taylor SwiftOwen WilsonMel GibsonRyan GoslingAdam Scott (Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec)Tom Hanks
Stannis BaratheonTyrion LannisterJaime LannisterOberyn MartelTywin LannisterSansa StarkRamsey BoltonHodorVarys the SpiderGreywormEddard Stark
Have your boys wingman and then blow itStart a dance battleKiss her on the cheek and then cryGet her home, get her in bed, don't closeI am faithfully marriedStart a normal conversationHAHAHAHHAHAHAimsolonelyDo nothing and somehow still get laidTell her much I love my ex-girlfriend and then ask to do analCome on way too strong, get rejected, and then whine about how all women are teasing slutsFinish my drink, get whiskey dick, and blackout in the back of her car
The latest Drake songAnything by Ed SheeranHow Does it Feel - D'AngeloESPN's coverage of tonight's gameA philosophy podcastI don't listen to American musicFrank Oceanm.a.a.d city for the 1000st timeBad and Boujee - MigosDMXA bhangra remix of Billboard Top100
People mispronouncing my nameThe fact that I'm still a virginCapitalismMyselfKenzieRishWhen girls are taller than meThe prison industrial complexThe fact that I'm not VenMy bisexualityWhen Meg fingers my butthole
A beta fishA gopherA bearA peacockA golden retreiverAn orangutanA chimp (with rabies)An elephantA snakeA meerkatA bumblebee
Which NiBBa Are You?
This nigga think he all that now that he got one girl to touch his dick. We all know you only drink that much to hide the fact you have no redeeming qualities and are basically a hollow shell of a human being. Make sure to drink away your self-loathing before you end up in a relationship like your parents'. Maybe if you were actually all that, you would've won the election.
You're a socialism-loving, fancy clothes wearing, whoms'tev'ed ass ni?️?️a. Maybe if you spent less time listening to podcasts and more time with Yagmur, she would love you again. Good luck finding work in the United States of America, because you're definitely on an NSA blacklist somewhere. Don't worry though, your future is BRITE.
It's a good thing roommate matching algorithms worked well for you, because if not, you probably would have had 2 friends in college. Maybe three, if you ended up dating another kitchen appliance. You live in your own trash and are built like a gummy bear. The question on everyone's mind is whether you'll take the last name Morrison, or she'll take on the Muegge legacy.
You probably copy-pasted all your life decisions from the internet if you ended up here. Your hobbies include breaking up with your girlfriend, regretting it a month later, and pretending to be black. Just be sure whoever you end up with is successful because God knows you won't be. You can try and convince everyone you aren't a virgin (even Nikita has dick standards) but let's be honest, you didn't get laid after prom.
You are the human equivalent of unseasoned turkey breast. We all know you actually told Meg to put her finger down there, you got to keep the flame alive somehow right? It doesn't matter that you're probably going to be the most successful of the entire group because the rest of us won't have kids that look like bologna sandwiches. To be fair, you do indulge in the finer things in life, like putting olive oil on your steamed broccoli and glazing your raw chicken in BBQ sauce.
Lets be real. The only reason you haven't had sex in two years is because you don't want to make the girl feel bad that your titties are bigger than hers. Your palms are like sandpaper because you furiously masturbate every night while thinking of Roger Federer. You and Neeraj rub lotion on each other's backs when you're not busy getting curved by girls. You would be crowned an honorary Husky, but UConn's mascot is a dog, not a bitch.
You really want to dismantle the prison-industrial complex, which is ironic because you're the most likely to end up in it. Your hobbies include wearing fake chains and not having a dog. The only thing more subject to change than your demeanor is your hairline. Someone should really tell you that camo went out of style in the early 2000s.
Despite being the most deserving of some pussy, you're probably going to die a virgin. At least you can wipe your tears with your $600,000 future salary. Judging by your name, your parents wanted a girl but had to settle for what they got. You can use a popcorn kernel to fill the hole in your gums, but just can't seem to use your "popcorn kernel" to fill the hole that really matters.
You somehow danced your way into a relationship, but you can't seem to dance your way out of Ven's shadow. People have a hard time believing you're related to Neeraj, because the only thing you share with him is a tendency to get blackout drunk at the drop of a hat. Your trash taste in memes is only rivaled by your trash taste in music. Just admit you shape your eyebrows and we can all leave in peace.
I've never met a man who can fuck up a sure thing as much as you. The only thing more normie than your memes is your life. You get about as much head as Eddard Stark and wear the same size clothes as Tyrion Lannister. Who the fuck likes the Mets.
How did you even find your way back into this friend group after freshman year? Your eyebrows are probably the thickest thing about you. If you wandered into PetCo they'd try to flush you down the toilet because of their dead fish policy. You're basically a carbon copy of every white girl at your local Starbucks.