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Which NiBBa Are You?

Take this quiz to find out which fucking degenerate you are.

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  1. You're going out to the hypest party of the whole semester, what do you wear?

    Just timbs
    Prada loafers and an Armani shirt tucked into your crisp Gucci pants
    You only own one shirt so probably that one
    Whatever Kanye was wearing the day before
    Anything UConn
    A shirt thats too small
    Anything that'll get you shot by a cop on the walk over
    Your nicest kurta
    Whatever Ven was wearing the day before
    Whatever was on sale at GAP kids
    A basic hoe uniform
  2. The club is banging, the juice is flowing, what are you sipping on?

    Half a Mike's Hard
    Johnnie Walker Black Label
    Lime Burnetts and Hawaiian Punch
    Peach Burnetts and Powdered Lemonade
    Two sips of champagne
    Anything that will get me drunk enough to kill the vibe
    A Ciroc bottle filled with water
    A 30 of Bud light
    The Dubra bottle you found in a dumpster
    Anything in a Gatorade bottle
    Beer brewed from the sweat of hipsters
  3. What's your most prized possession?

    The box of Gushers that's been under my bed for the last three months
    My tooth
    Rish
    My wife
    Yagmur Sulemis
    Ven
    My eyebrows
    My chain
    My memes
    My manbun
    My D-cup titties
  4. What's your favorite subreddit?

    r/NoFap
    r/NBA
    r/DankMemes
    r/Technology
    What is a subreddit?
    r/MaleFashionAdvice
    r/Cringe
    r/Streetwear
    r/AnalCumSluts
    r/WorldNews
    Anything boring on the front page
  5. What celebrity should play you in a movie about my life?

    Aziz Ansari
    Rosie O'Donnell
    Danny DeVito
    Tom Cruise
    Nick Kroll (Ruxin from The League)
    Taylor Swift
    Owen Wilson
    Mel Gibson
    Ryan Gosling
    Adam Scott (Ben Wyatt from Parks and Rec)
    Tom Hanks
  6. Which Game of Thrones character are you?

    Stannis Baratheon
    Tyrion Lannister
    Jaime Lannister
    Oberyn Martel
    Tywin Lannister
    Sansa Stark
    Ramsey Bolton
    Hodor
    Varys the Spider
    Greyworm
    Eddard Stark
  7. You drunk af and you see a solid 10/10 in the club, what's your move?

    Have your boys wingman and then blow it
    Start a dance battle
    Kiss her on the cheek and then cry
    Get her home, get her in bed, don't close
    I am faithfully married
    Start a normal conversation
    HAHAHAHHAHAHAimsolonely
    Do nothing and somehow still get laid
    Tell her much I love my ex-girlfriend and then ask to do anal
    Come on way too strong, get rejected, and then whine about how all women are teasing sluts
    Finish my drink, get whiskey dick, and blackout in the back of her car
  8. Someone hands you the aux cord, what do you play?

    The latest Drake song
    Anything by Ed Sheeran
    How Does it Feel - D'Angelo
    ESPN's coverage of tonight's game
    A philosophy podcast
    I don't listen to American music
    Frank Ocean
    m.a.a.d city for the 1000st time
    Bad and Boujee - Migos
    DMX
    A bhangra remix of Billboard Top100
  9. What do you hate the most?

    People mispronouncing my name
    The fact that I'm still a virgin
    Capitalism
    Myself
    Kenzie
    Rish
    When girls are taller than me
    The prison industrial complex
    The fact that I'm not Ven
    My bisexuality
    When Meg fingers my butthole
  10. What is your spirit animal?

    A beta fish
    A gopher
    A bear
    A peacock
    A golden retreiver
    An orangutan
    A chimp (with rabies)
    An elephant
    A snake
    A meerkat
    A bumblebee

Which NiBBa Are You?

You got: Ven

This nigga think he all that now that he got one girl to touch his dick. We all know you only drink that much to hide the fact you have no redeeming qualities and are basically a hollow shell of a human being. Make sure to drink away your self-loathing before you end up in a relationship like your parents'. Maybe if you were actually all that, you would've won the election.

Ven
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You got: Alihan

You're a socialism-loving, fancy clothes wearing, whoms'tev'ed ass ni?️?️a. Maybe if you spent less time listening to podcasts and more time with Yagmur, she would love you again. Good luck finding work in the United States of America, because you're definitely on an NSA blacklist somewhere. Don't worry though, your future is BRITE.

Alihan
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You got: John

It's a good thing roommate matching algorithms worked well for you, because if not, you probably would have had 2 friends in college. Maybe three, if you ended up dating another kitchen appliance. You live in your own trash and are built like a gummy bear. The question on everyone's mind is whether you'll take the last name Morrison, or she'll take on the Muegge legacy.

John
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You got: Wahhaj

You probably copy-pasted all your life decisions from the internet if you ended up here. Your hobbies include breaking up with your girlfriend, regretting it a month later, and pretending to be black. Just be sure whoever you end up with is successful because God knows you won't be. You can try and convince everyone you aren't a virgin (even Nikita has dick standards) but let's be honest, you didn't get laid after prom.

Wahhaj
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You got: Steve

You are the human equivalent of unseasoned turkey breast. We all know you actually told Meg to put her finger down there, you got to keep the flame alive somehow right? It doesn't matter that you're probably going to be the most successful of the entire group because the rest of us won't have kids that look like bologna sandwiches. To be fair, you do indulge in the finer things in life, like putting olive oil on your steamed broccoli and glazing your raw chicken in BBQ sauce.

Steve
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You got: Abhi

Lets be real. The only reason you haven't had sex in two years is because you don't want to make the girl feel bad that your titties are bigger than hers. Your palms are like sandpaper because you furiously masturbate every night while thinking of Roger Federer. You and Neeraj rub lotion on each other's backs when you're not busy getting curved by girls. You would be crowned an honorary Husky, but UConn's mascot is a dog, not a bitch.

Abhi
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You got: Neeraj

You really want to dismantle the prison-industrial complex, which is ironic because you're the most likely to end up in it. Your hobbies include wearing fake chains and not having a dog. The only thing more subject to change than your demeanor is your hairline. Someone should really tell you that camo went out of style in the early 2000s.

Neeraj
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You got: Soumya

Despite being the most deserving of some pussy, you're probably going to die a virgin. At least you can wipe your tears with your $600,000 future salary. Judging by your name, your parents wanted a girl but had to settle for what they got. You can use a popcorn kernel to fill the hole in your gums, but just can't seem to use your "popcorn kernel" to fill the hole that really matters.

Soumya
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You got: Nikhil

You somehow danced your way into a relationship, but you can't seem to dance your way out of Ven's shadow. People have a hard time believing you're related to Neeraj, because the only thing you share with him is a tendency to get blackout drunk at the drop of a hat. Your trash taste in memes is only rivaled by your trash taste in music. Just admit you shape your eyebrows and we can all leave in peace.

Nikhil
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You got: Eddie

I've never met a man who can fuck up a sure thing as much as you. The only thing more normie than your memes is your life. You get about as much head as Eddard Stark and wear the same size clothes as Tyrion Lannister. Who the fuck likes the Mets.

Eddie
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You got: Marisa

How did you even find your way back into this friend group after freshman year? Your eyebrows are probably the thickest thing about you. If you wandered into PetCo they'd try to flush you down the toilet because of their dead fish policy. You're basically a carbon copy of every white girl at your local Starbucks.

Marisa
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