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14 Things You'd Like To Tell Your Significant Other, But Can't

You want to tell them! But you can't. But you should! But you won't. We get it.

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1. "Your breath smells like a flaming garbage truck full of dead raccoons."

"Seriously, get a mint. Or eat some toothpaste. Something."

2. "Just because you're on a diet, that doesn't mean I'm on a diet."

"And if I were on a diet, it would be the kind that allows cookies and doughnuts and anything with frosting."

3. "Please stop taking relationship advice from your single friends."

"I know you love them, and they're great and everything, but please just stop."

4. "If you don't have anything interesting to say, make something up."

"It's impossible to literally do nothing for an entire day."

5. "Sometimes you eat like a GD animal."

"Were you raised in a Viking prison? Search 'basic human manners' when we get home."

6. "You don't have to be romantic all the time, but try to be romantic sometimes."

"One out of every 10 sexual advances needs to be executed with romance and tact. Does that seem fair?"

7. "Don't be such a hater."

"Hating whatever's cool right now is not cool. Cool?"

8. "Stop telling your BFF all of our personal stuff."

"I know they're your BFF, and you tell each other everything, but you don't have to tell each other everything, OK?"

9. "Pretend to be interested in what I'm saying, even if you're not interested."

"Just, like, 10% effort is all I'm asking for."

10. "NOTHING is wrong with you."

"There are people in the world who have real problems. You? You're fine, relatively speaking."

11. "Stop overthinking things you've done in the past."

"What can you do about it? Do you have a time machine? Can you go back and Marty McFly that sh*t? No? OK, then learn from it and move on."

12. "Don't worry about me not being there for you."

"I'm gonna be there, because there's nowhere else I'd rather be, OK?"

13. "I will never think that your weird sex stuff is weird..."

14. "...as long as you never think that my weird sex stuff is weird."

"And, FYI, my stuff isn't actually all that weird, because it's fulfilling a natural, instinctual urge to— y'know what? Let's not get into it right now. I'll show you later."

(All images provided courtesy of FX Networks)

Here's something you can tell your S.O.: the new season of You're the Worst premieres tonight at 10:30 p.m. on FXX.

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