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12 Things Wrong With Your Halloween Costume

Halloween is a holiday where you get to be whoever or whatever you want to be (assuming your significant other lets you). You can be Batman, you can be Wonder Woman, you can be a pirate, you can be a unicorn, you can even be a skeleton with a boner and make everyone around you slightly uncomfortable! But even if you're the most careful shopper there's still probably something wrong with your Halloween costume.

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1. You Didn't Think About The Weather Now You're Freezing Your Ass Off

Frozen / Via

You didn't work out for six months to get the perfect body of a Dothraki Warrior just to wuss out and put on a jacket come Halloween night. So you do some push-ups, put on a fake braid and a fresh coat of bronzer only to open the door to leave and find out, very abruptly, that Winter is Here! Stubbornly, you hold out as long as you can but end up destroying your perfect costume by wearing your friend's ballpark giveaway windbreaker just to avoid frostbite of the nipple! You didn't keep the October cold in consideration when you chose your costume. Don’t let a little cold weather kill your vibe.

2. Your Costume Is Way Too Sexy

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Halloween is all about having an extra bit of naughty fun. The best way to spice it up is with a sexy Halloween costume. If you can think of a costume, there's a sexy version of it. From sexy cop to sexy nurse to sexy Beetlejuice to sexy Donald Trump. Everything has a sexy version of it. But probably the most common thing wrong with your costume is that it's too sexy. By all means, if you're attending a lingerie costume party at the Playboy Mansion (#RIPHef) then wear costume lingerie. But when you're taking your kids trick-or-treating picking the super sexy costume may be a mistake.

3. You Went With The Cheap Costume And It Shows


I'm not saying you shouldn't try to save money on your costume. But when you buy a cheap Halloween costume you get a cheap Halloween costume. And if how you look means anything to you, then spend the extra few bucks and buy a quality costume. And if you're not sure what to do with that quality outfit for Halloween here's a list of things you can do with your costume after Halloween

4. You Paid Too Much For Your Costume

Costume SuperCenter / Via

Whether from sheer hubris or just being a poor comparison shopper, sometimes one just pays too much for a costume they only intend to wear for three hours. It's the opposite of buying the cheap costume. By all means, get your perfect Halloween look no matter what. But there is really no reason for what is essentially a simple costume to cost an exorbitant amount of money. Outside of cosplay conventions, nobody really cares how much your costume costs as long as it looks fun. There are no points for price tags. Find ways to recreate your favorite costumes or put your own spin on them to develop a unique creation instead of paying a fortune for someone else's idea. Find a costume that is 100% you and still fits within a budget so that you can use some of that surplus money to show your new sensible costume off all over town!

5. Your Costume Is Racist


The Halloween holiday is best known for free candy, jack-o-lanterns and haunted houses. Oh yeah and the annual deluge of articles saying that every remotely ethnic costume is the most racist thing imaginable and the counter articles claiming that costumes aren't racist because it was OK to wear in the 60s. Whichever side of the debate you fall on someone, somewhere will think your costume is racist. The worst offenders every Halloween are those who wear Native American costumes. So if you're dressing up in an Indian costume or Asian costume, you're probably making the mistake of wearing a racist costume.

6. You Let Your Spouse Pick The Couple's Costume And Now You’re Raggedy Andy

Buy Costumes / Via

Wanna know how to spot the most whipped guy in the room? Look for the one in the Raggedy Andy costume. You could have suggested an awesome couple's costume like Batman and Catwoman, Joker and Harley Quinn, Han Solo and Princess Leia, hell, even the plug and socket costume is better for couples! But you made the mistake of not asserting your free thought and now you're stuck being Raggedy Andy.

7. You Waited Too Long And All Of The Cool Popular Costumes Are Sold Out

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A consequence long known by Harry Potter fans as "Getting the Ron", waiting too long to secure your Halloween costume can lead to you being stuck representing a character that is absolutely bunk by comparison. If that buzzkill isn't bad enough, you might as well wear a sign that reads "LAST MINUTE COSTUME! I'm nerdy AND lazy!" because nobody's gonna believe Hawkeye is your favorite Avenger! I'm sure even Hawkeye himself shops early for his Iron Man Halloween costume to avoid being Hawkeye! Think ahead and make your purchase ASAP so you aren't the last one to the costume party!

8. You Bought The Wrong Size Costume

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia / Via

Smaller doesn't always equal sexier. Sure if you opt for a size smaller than normal you might show a little more skin or accentuate certain body parts; but is it still going to be as sexy after a rogue sneeze blows out half your costume's seams? And even if you somehow avoid catastrophic structural failure, you are still left with a sense of paranoia, a walk like Frankenstein's monster and the inability to breathe. Sometimes you may be stuck with getting the wrong size due to popular demand, or you ordered the wrong size and don't have enough time to order a new one. This is an offshoot of "Getting the Ron" and can be rectified in the same way. Plan well and plan ahead.

9. Your Costume Is Too Complicated To Get On And Off And You Need The Restroom

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When you put on your ultra intricate 100% accurate Halloween costume with every conceivable detail, gadget and element in place, you were at your house, it was fun, exciting and you couldn't wait to show off your creation. Now, fifteen minutes into the party you need to go to pee, but it requires a team of mechanics and five man hours work just to get you in a position where you can handle nature's business. There is no way you will ever get that costume back to the way it was when you showed up. Now you're stuck wearing the ruins of a once-great outfit and spending the whole night telling everybody that the lights on your arms totally blink but you didn't feel like putting the battery pack back wherever it goes. Your super elaborate costume is great for a contest or cosplay, but for a whole night of Halloween partying, it will end up being far more of a liability then an asset... or you could just wear diapers.

10. You Went With A Political Costume And Your Friends Won't Stop Arguing

Wholesale Halloween Costumes / Via

Not everybody votes like you. What you see as a fairly obvious and commonly accepted political observation will undoubtedly have you moderating spirited debates when all you really want is to eat chips and dip. It's in poor form to bring up politics at a party, but inevitably every year people put good graces aside to split the room right down the middle with their poorly thought-out and divisive political costume! A room full of people can't even agree on pizza toppings, so don't expect the entire lot to be on board with whatever governmental rhetoric you chose to dominate your Halloween outfit! Everyone agrees Freddy Kruger is scary. It's a given. Assuming a consensus opinion on our commander in chief is not near as clear cut. Arguments will start. People will be insulted, and chips will go on undipped. All because you wanted to treat a Halloween party like a YouTube comment section. Don't do that.

11. You Told Everyone About The Awesome DIY Costume You Were Gonna Make But Didn't Have Time To

Big Bang Theory / Via

Everyone is guilty of this at one time or another. The day after Halloween last year you were so jazzed up on everybody else's costumes you proclaimed that next year you're going to make the best ______ costume anyone has ever seen! You spend the entire year prepping everybody for the Sistine Chapel of costumes that you're throwing down only to wake up three days before Halloween knowing there's no way that you'll meet your lofty goal. So you end up just going to the store and grabbing a Scream mask and calling it a day. You over-promised and under-delivered now you have to deal with that shame.

12. You're Wearing The Same Costume As Someone (Or Everyone) Else At The Party

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Nothing is worse than dressing in what you think is a one-of-a-kind outfit only to show up and find someone else stealing your costume and glory. With the really popular characters there is no avoiding this. There will always be multiple Jokers and Michael Myers, so thinking outside the box is the first remedy. Choose a character no one would ever pick like Sexy Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And as a fail-safe, just keep a tube of fake blood in your pocket so you can turn your costume into an instantly unique zombie version of your costume-- leaving the other guy's boring costume clone on its own, crying in the corner.

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