A Superficial Pokémon Ranking: Generation III - Part I

Generation III! This is the generation where things started to get weird. Pokémon designs became increasingly cartoony and/or busy. I don't know if that properly explains it, but that's what I got.

For the first time ever, we're going to split a Generation into three parts. We'll do the bottom 50, then the middle 40, and finally the top 50.

Okay. Here we go. Generation III.

140. Nosepass

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

I'll take a pass on Nosepass.

139. Dustox

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

I hate it.

138. Walrein

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

An ugly walrus.

137. Nincada

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

I hate it.

136. Luvdisc

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Yes, Luvdisc is kind of cute. That said, I also hate its design so much.

135. Dusclops

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

I hate those grabby hands.

134. Metang

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Ugly rock robot thing.

133. Grovyle

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

The worst stage of the worst starter evolutionary line yet.

132. Sableye

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

I hate those diamond eyes.

131. Seviper

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

No thank you.

130. Cacturne

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

A creepy cactus scarecrow.

129. Lunatone

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

A moon with a beak? No thanks.

128. Cacnea

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

A basic, yet sort of creepy, cactus.

127. Claydol

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Too many faces.

126. Roselia

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

A happy flower being. Kind of basic.

125. Vigoroth

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Ugly sloth.

124. Wurmple

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Buttface.

123. Regice

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Is it Reh-jees or Rej-ice?

122. Regirock

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Rock golem thing.

121. Registeel

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Steel golem thing.

120. Feebas

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

This poor, gaunt fish.

119. Snorunt

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Sure, it's kind of cute but it's also kind of creepy.

118. Lombre

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Nope.

117. Pelipper

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

I can't tell if it has two eyes on each side of its head, or if it's a white "pupil" thing going across the eye.

116. Lileep

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Unsettling.

115. Baltoy

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Boring.

114. Corphish

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

There's just something slightly off with this one.

113. Loudred

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Too loud.

112. Solrock

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Rock sun.

111. Grumpig

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Thinks it's cooler than it actually is.

110. Whiscash

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

It looks happy. That's nice.

109. Medicham

The Pokémon Companyq / Via pokemon.com

I think I'm getting burnt out in terms of coming up with what to write for each Pokémon. I don't like this one.

108. Spoink

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Springy pig.

107. Barboach

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Little skinny fish.

106. Whismur

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Kind of cute.

105. Carvanha

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Ugly but in a kind of endearing way?

104. Gorebyss

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

What's the seashell bra?

103. Silcoon

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

This cocoon is watching you.

102. Cascoon

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

This cocoon is angry.

101. Mawile

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

A real "Little Shop of Horror" vibe.

100. Cradily

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Goofy and creepy.

99. Poochyena

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Angry little hyena.

98. Beautifly

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

A Butterfree knockoff but still kind of cute?

97. Trapinch

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Cuter than the insect larva its based on.

96. Sealeo

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

It's just boring and that's it.

95. Zigzagoon

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Kind of cute but also kind of ugly raccoon thing.

94. Bagon

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Does it have a mullet?

93. Nuzleaf

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Not a fan of the pointy nose (thorn?). Also why the nipples?

92. Absol

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

I think it's trying too hard to seem elegant.

91. Relicanth

The Pokémon Company / Via pokemon.com

Kind of cool but also kind of boring.

That's it for Generation III - Part I

So that's the bottom 50. Tune in next time for the middle 40.