5. Torn, Tattered Clothes
Note: we’re talking “I was never going to wear this again anyway” torn and tattered. The blood mix we’ll be using in a few steps is pretty permanent, so don’t come knocking on our door torches blazing if you end up ruining your parent’s prom dress.
Step One: Preparation
First, squirt a dollop of white makeup onto a mixing plate, then add a dab of black makeup to the concoction. Mix the creams until they create a ghoulish gray paste, adding or subtracting as necessary until your mix looks suitably soulless. Use a photo of Kim Kardashian’s eyes for reference as needed.
Now, find a cup or bowl and mix one part water with three parts corn syrup. Stir for a bit, then add a few drops of red food coloring until the liquid is a spooky crimson hue. Squeeze additional droplets of blue, green, and yellow food coloring as needed and mix well until the satisfaction of making a big ol’ batch of artificial blood sets in. If the mix is too diluted for your particular tastes (you weirdo), then add a spoonful of corn starch in and mix until thickened.
Optional: tweet about how you just spent your afternoon making fake blood and you just don’t understand why you can’t get a girlfriend sad face =(
Step Two: Application
Smear that gray goop on your face, neck, hands, and any other exposed bits of flesh. (This goes double for you, “sexy” zombies.) Add dabs of black makeup around your eyes to get that nice, hollow look going, and add flecks on your cheeks as needed to create a good “sunken-in” effect. If you’re Lindsay Lohan, skip that last part as it would just be redundant.
Now, find your fake blood and dab it across your clothing and/or on your face for an extra brutal effect. If you really want to go for that “blood spatter” look, then pour some of your blood mix into a spray bottle and spritz away.
Step Three: BRAAAAINS
And there you have it: you’ve just completed your incredibly convincing transformation into a full-fledged member of the flesh-starved undead hordes! Unless, of course, you meet an actual zombie on the way to your office party. Which would just be terribly awkward.
But alas, we can only give you the basic embellishments for your journey into zombie-hood; it falls to you to really sell your undead affliction. Just remember, every zombie worth its salt follows the three S’s that every ghoul and ghost must abide by: stumble, stagger, and shamble.
Now, whether you’re trick-or-treating on Halloween eve or wandering the halls of Comic-Con, go forth, keep calm, and zombie on!