Did you know that Miss Piggy, in addition to being the greatest character on The Muppets, is also a total style and beauty icon?
Yes, I know she's a pig puppet. Yes, I still want to look just like her. JUST HEAR ME OUT HERE FOR A LITTLE and be open to all she has to teach, and by the end of this post, you too will yearn to emulate the stunning looks and confident charisma of the swankiest swine of all time. Because, really, no one compares to Miss Piggy.
1. First, and most importantly, be proud of your beautiful body, whatever it looks like.
Although Miss Piggy is especially into her own thickness, folks of all body types should know that nothing is more freeing or awesome-feeling than loving what you've got.
2. Spend your time with people whose personalities (and jumpsuits) are just as sparkling as yours.
You know that adage about how friendships are kind of endorsements? Keep that in mind as you note this beautiful and complementary partnership between Elton John and MP. The lesson: Endorse people who add to your shine instead of trying to jock it or cut it down.
3. Refuse to sweat people who are too dense to understand your unique kind of beauty.
4. But don't be afraid to make drastic departures from your signature look on occasion.
Feeling bored by your humdrum regular beauty routine? Why not wild out a little bit? Changing up your makeup and hair can make you feel like a brand-new lady (or sow, in this particular case). Miss Piggy clearly understands that having fun with your look is basically the whole point of wearing cosmetics.
5. Never let dieting obsess your brain or make you miserable—remember that thing about your body being gorgeous the way it is?
Finally, a plan that won't leave you hungry or craving your favorite foods! Unprecedented genius, no? Channel Miss Piggy and recognize that however you choose to eat is your business.
6. And feel free to follow this fitness regimen, which includes moves like "sitting in place."
Whoa, I just realized that, according to this, I'm actually exercising right now! Thanks, Miss Piggy!
7. Live life by your own very stylish rules.
Whatever your own particular ones might look like.
8. And give incredible face even in the grimmest of circumstances.
Even when things are terrible, you at least look great.
9. Don't just walk—treat the world like your runway, because who's to say it isn't?
10. And realize that you attract the right kind of attention.
When you're as confident as Miss Piggy, interesting people just want to be around you.
11. Refuse to be falsely modest about your achievements.
Don't be afraid to shine.
12. Get enough sleep.
Beauty rest is clearly very important.
13. Really, just follow these three rules to style success and you should be all set.
14. And know with all of yourself that you are more than worthy of real love and respect.
Obviously—how could someone as fabulous as you are not be?
15. But, most of all, don't allow others to make you feel lesser-than.
Trust in yourself and the rest will follow.
So you can keep your run-of-the-mill movie stars and models.
Because this felt-and-glue pig is all you need to guide you how in looking totally divine, having the confidence to keep all eyes on you, and possibly ensnaring your own version of the frog prince of your dreams in the process.