I, like many people, have dreamed about the ideal Happily Ever After. Waking up in a cozy one bedroom, seeing the sun stream through the windows down on the person that you love. For me, this has always been something that I dreamed of. Something that I knew would happen at some point in my life because everyone finds their soulmate, right?
Once reality kicked in, it became apparent that not everyone ends up with their soulmate or necessarily ends up living forever with the person they thought they would've. Now, I can't say too much on this as I have never had such a relationship that I could reflect on in such a manner. How then, can I say my opinion on love?
Well, I always like to think of it as two different opinions:
One version is someone who smiles at the old couples that bicker and still care about each other so long after years of marriage. One who watches John Bender pump his fist into the air because he got the girl or watches Michael Vartan kiss Drew Barrymore on the pitcher's mound and dreams of a kiss like that.
The other is one who is in a constant hangover phase. The one who cringes every time she sees a cheesy post from some guy calling his girlfriend "my baby" with a diamond ring emoji beside it.
I've always wondered, "I'm only 17 years old, why am I so obsessed with trying to find a relationship?" As I'm sure some people may wonder as well. Truth is, there's probably a number of reasons we all try to rush and settle down into relationships. Maybe it's the idea that we'd be alone? Maybe it's just having someone to post cute selfies? Nonetheless, even though we are surrounded by various forms of communications, as a generation, we fear being alone than any other previous ones. It's terrifying that we won't have someone to voice every thought of ours to, but why are we so hooked on this idea of an ideal person?
No guy is ever going to have the charisma of Ferris Bueller, the intelligence of Brain Johnson, the charm of Bender and the drop dead good looks of Jake Ryan. Yes, he may have a couple of those or maybe just one. We as a generation need to stop basing our ideals on what romance used to be way back when. You may not get those moments in real life and it will suck and it will hurt like hell if it doesn't go the way you intended. But isn't it better having loved than lost?
There will be days when you feel yourself drawn to screaming a person's name from the rooftops all the way to wanting to burn their lawn for making you feel this way. Both feelings can be validated, but we shouldn't let those feelings alone dictate who we would be if that person became a part of our lives.
What romance movies captured so well in the 1980's and 1990's was that these were still people in relationships. Both had their own identities outside of being in that relationship. Yes, they had their perfect romantic moment but you could list so many other traits about that person. Look at recent movies, these people have their relationship as a key identifying factor. A woman is a wife, a man is a boyfriend. That's it. End of the story.
Romance should be more than just a good soundtrack, it should be the moments you share between you and that person. However you won't always have those moments of "Yes, this is what love is" that doesn't invalidate those feelings in the slightest. Love is what you make of it. It could be a wonderful thing or a not so wonderful thing. It's how we see it, how we choose to react to it.