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10 Reasons To Go To UIUC That Your Mom Won’t Like

The University of Illinois is a great school. Here are some of the best reasons you should attend. But don't tell your mom, she won't be happy!

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1. Your weekly allowance being spent mostly on $1 well drinks and cover charges

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Mom worries about us constantly. You probably won't want to tell her how your weekly allowance is being spent on a Gatsby worthy montage of $1 well drinks at the Campus Town bars instead of on groceries. Worth it!

2. Having to explain broken glass in your foot after a night at Kams


Nothing is more alarming to Mom than flesh wounds. KAMS is known for sticky floors, shattered glasses, and all the weekend insanity you can ever need. Just tell her those shards of glass in your foot are from a Habit for Humanity build gone wrong.

3. Explaining that your only exercise comes from pole dancing at Joe's

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Mom wants you to explore new passions, develop new interests... just maybe not in pole dancing at a crowded college bar. Still worth it!

4. The fact that your diet even includes a helping of fat sandwich

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Mom is going to want you to eat well (thus the allowance) so don't tell her about this artery clogging beauty. CAUTION: walking and eating this at the same time is not advised.

5. Telling your mom that you spend saturday mornings studying but you’re really at Red Lion’s Block Party

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Mom is going to want you to study. Cellphone + saying you are going to library = happy Mom! PS: These are awesome.

6. When you tell your mom you’re going to the gym, but really just sweating out the alcohol from the past week in the sauna

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Ok. At least you are taking care of yourself. You know, detoxifying and such....

8. When your mom finds out that your most recent award was actually for finishing a rail at Legends

Mom will be proud of your scholarship and achievement...or not. Shh. Don't tell her what the award is for, just that you got one! Tuesday nights well spent!

10. The Hangover your mom gets after Mom’s weekend

Enough said!

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