Monday’s The Bachelor saw Raven, Vanessa, and Rachel move onto fantasy suites (sorry, Corinne!), but the episode really just focused on the relationship between the man at the center of it all, Nick Viall, and his Southern sweetheart...and she had some feelings to share about her sexual status.
“I guess my main fears today are saying I love you and having sex at the end of the night with him because for me being physical and emotional means double the heartbreak if it ends up not being me at the end,” Raven told the cameras on the day of the big date. You know, because the fantasy suite is supposedly where love birds get down and dirty. “I mean the physical part, every girl wants great things, fireworks, magic to happen, but I have only had sex with one person and I’ve never had an orgasm before.”
Now that’s not something you hear every Monday. While everyone knows about the canoodling that usually happens when we get to the final three, it’s not often addressed on the show so explicitly. “It’s really taboo to discuss, but it’s important. All these factors are just running through my head and to be quite honest, maybe I hadn’t before with my last person because I really didn’t trust him,” she continues. “You just have to trust someone to be able to go there, and I think I could go there with Nick. Here we go. Today’s the day.” Taboo, it certainly is—and awkward to watch with your family, which I know because my dad couldn't even—but one way to normalize female sexuality is to talk about it.
She shared her activity with Nick too when he invited her to stay over and she accepted. “I need to remind you of two things: One, I’ve only been with one person. I just want you to keep that in your mind. The second thing is that my last boyfriend, my ex who I was intimate with, never made me orgasm.” He seemed to be taking it in. “Loss for words?” Girl, you can say that again. “Yeah. I was not expecting that,” he responded, so not much to go on there, but if next week’s preview is any indication—with Raven getting up the next morning, flanked by tousled sheet—there might be more open talk about the matter. Fingers crossed.
The question now being, what will Vanessa and Rachel have to say about all things physical? (Like, I'm excited for the weekend, but Monday actually can't come soon enough.)
Also important to note, Raven wasn't the only one to speak openly...
Andi Dorfman gave Viall—who was the runner-up during her season of The Bachelorette and said some unsavory things about her after the show—some advice about the fantasy suite. “Having been there and done it I think if you see a potential for that girl to be standing there at the end and you getting down on one knee with her then that lends itself, if you two agree, to take it to the next level and to be intimate.”
“Honestly, you’re entitled to do whatever you want. You have three girls that you respect and care about that are dating you, that you’re dating. You’ve met their families. They’ve professed how much they like you or love you. You’re an adult. I think you have the right to get as intimate as you want in each relationship. My feminist rant.” Here's hoping for more of that when Rachel takes the lead for the next season of Bachelorette.