Destructive Communication In Martial Conflict

Martial Conflict is shown in the media, but it is not usual to see destructive communication conflict although it does happen. This post will show you two categories under destructive conflict and display what they are with video clips from television and film.

Gottman's 4 Horsemen of Apocalypse: Criticism

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In Gottman's 4 horsemen, criticism is when one attacks their partner's personality and/or character. In this clip from the Office, Michael criticizes Jan for being unable to replace the "plasma" tv she broke because she is not receiving any income at the moment.

Gottman's 4 Horsemen of Apocalypse: Contempt

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This is considered to be the worst of the horsemen, due to the emotional and mental damage that is cause from this conflict style. This starts to happen when criticism is not solved. As seen in the Clip, Ted (the teddy bear) criticizes his wife on her shopping habit but they escalate to name calling and later on to violence.

Gottman's 4 Horsemen of Apocalypse: Defensiveness

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Defensiveness is partners choose to blame the other and not accept the fault. The video clip from film Blue Valentine, Dean gets defensive when Cindy makes comments about the physical appearance of an old friend she seen at the market. Dean get defensive because he is has self uncertainty and partner uncertainty. Cindy tries to defend her comments but Dean also defends his point of view, so conflict does not get resolved.

Gottman's 4 Horsemen of Apocalypse: Stonewalling

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Barney displays stonewalling in this clip from How I Met Your Mother. Robin is trying to confront Barney with an issue she has but instead of listening, he walks away and does not reply. It is like Robin is talking to a wall, since she did not get a response back from Barney. Stonewalling is commonly seen done by men.

Intimate Partner Violence

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is physical violence in a relationship, but could be root in having control of your partner. In the first season of The Walking Dead, Carol is married to Ed who is very controlling of Carol and is violent towards her. In the Gif, Ed shows Intimate Terrorism, he uses violence as a tool to control Carol. He isolates her from others in the campsite at times.