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Real People’s Crap Christmas Present Stories

It’s the thought that counts, right? This Christmas, Three have some great deals, so you can treat yourself to something you really want while also buying great gifts for family and friends. Someone should tell these guys about it.

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1. "I once received a mobile phone from an unnamed family member. It was locked, had no box or charger, and actually belonged to someone who had reported it stolen."

Great job, unnamed family member! 10 points.
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Great job, unnamed family member! 10 points.

2. "My mum gave me a briefcase for Xmas when I was 12. I asked if she meant it for Dad."

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE: "She also once left a plastic bag with some deodorant, a toothbrush, some gold-coin chocolate, and a cheque for £40 when they had gone off on holiday somewhere nice. For the record, I'd asked if I could go too. She said no."Queen of presents.
Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE: "She also once left a plastic bag with some deodorant, a toothbrush, some gold-coin chocolate, and a cheque for £40 when they had gone off on holiday somewhere nice. For the record, I'd asked if I could go too. She said no."

Queen of presents.

3. "When I was about eight my auntie bought a Ninja Turtles Raphael action figure for the kid she used to babysit, and I was super envious. Then she hyped up a 'great' present for me that Christmas..."

"She gave me a box with some sky blue Y-fronts and a matching thermal vest in it. Cowabunga."
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"She gave me a box with some sky blue Y-fronts and a matching thermal vest in it. Cowabunga."

4. "My dad bought me a mini-television (cool, right?), which he'd broken before wrapping it (less cool) and didn't tell me about. He just went 'Oh, that f***ing technology...' and put the kettle on."

"Even though we eventually (two weeks) swapped it for one that worked, it was Christmas Day; I was eleven and heartbroken. He came clean a few years ago. He will not be forgiven."
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"Even though we eventually (two weeks) swapped it for one that worked, it was Christmas Day; I was eleven and heartbroken. He came clean a few years ago. He will not be forgiven."

5. "In 2010, an auntie gave me some cassettes, as in actual cassettes, of UB40, the Communards, and Mike and the Mechanics."

"I have no idea how she obtained them."
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"I have no idea how she obtained them."

6. "My favourite gift from last year was a £2 candle from my in-laws that still had the £2 sticker on it."

New Year sale
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New Year sale

7. "When I was 8 years old, my parents gave me £20 to buy presents for them and the whole family. I spent £18 on sweets and stuff, and bought them dandruff shampoo to share."

"I bought nothing for my three sisters."
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"I bought nothing for my three sisters."

8. "Set of ball bearings from a Vulcan nuclear bomber. In a stocking. No real functional use."

Worn bearing
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Worn bearing

9. "I once got a bullet with my name on it in my stocking. An actual bullet with my name actually engraved on it. Someone found it in Russia and thought it would be cool. It kind of was."

"At least now I know how I'll die!"
Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com

"At least now I know how I'll die!"

10. "A friend of mine got a stuffed toy bear for Christmas in 2007 that said Merry Christmas 2005."

"It was from her GRANDPARENTS."
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"It was from her GRANDPARENTS."

11. "A friend of mine once received a doormat as a gift from her husband."

"Amazingly, they are still married."
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"Amazingly, they are still married."

12. "My gran always gave us vouchers from a shop in Cheltenham for Xmas. We lived in London, and the shop was never open on weekends. We only ever visited at weekends."

"I still have the vouchers."
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"I still have the vouchers."

13. "My grandma gives me a can of de-icer every year. She even wraps it up."

"I don't know why."
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"I don't know why."

14. "My brother is crazy about darts, so I got him a set of big chrome darts that you screw into a wall as coat hangers for his darts room. He opened them and said 'Yeah, I have no use for these'."

Bullseye.
Thinkstock / Via thinkstockphotos.com

Bullseye.

Happy Christmas everybody! Love from Three.