1. You can be anything you want to be (even an astronaut) as long as you work out a few times and maybe read a book or two.
2. A no-strings-attached relationship is a real possibility! No one will get hurt...
3. That if you're not winning, then NO ONE IS!
4. You can hit on all your friends. If they don't like it, you can just "ask to leave."
5. Going from flab to fab (or vice versa) is as easy as a left click here, and a little pull there.
6. EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD TASTES LIKE GRILLED CHEESE.
7. That if a bartender isn't tending to your needs, you can just tend to them yourself.
8. Working out once — just once — has the equivalent effect of a year's worth of steroid use.
9. Approaching strangers, taking a selfie, and then just making out in public is totes normal.
10. Pets that grow on trees.
11. The only thing you need to recover from a full-body fire is a nice shower.
12. It's never too late to pick up a new craft or instrument! All it takes is a few uninstructed practices.
13. And that you can make a living as a super-villain or super-spy.
All images are courtesy of EA Games.