He’ll invite you over just to look at the league trophy on his mantle. He’ll offer tips from “someone who’s won it all.” He’ll remind you every chance he gets that he won your fantasy league last year, and that he plans to do it again this year.
You didn’t even know she was interested in football until she came out of nowhere, swept the drafts, and tore up the standings to make it to the playoffs. She’ll do whatever it takes to win, including showing absolutely no interest in winning.
He missed most of the draft. He was too baked to set his line-up this week. He’s constantly trying to draft Australian rugby players on his team. And despite all that, he stil kicks your ass every week.
He’ll always talk the talk, until you trounce him on game day. But the pleasure that comes from winning against him is short-lived, because it’s always followed by a freak-out of epic proportions.
To him, the sport is not in crafting the perfect fantasy line-up, but in crafting the perfect ball-busting zinger. His sharp wit will always hit you where it hurts.
He’ll eat your babies. No, seriously, he’ll eat your babies.