Why Is Becoming An Adult So Hard For This Generation?

For those who share the feeling of being dumb as they try to adult.

The Woes of Adulting

Transitioning from living at home to college or moving away from our parents sets us all up to fail sometimes. As a current college sophomore in New England, I struggled heavily my freshman year with easy tasks that ended up being much harder than I thought. I felt like there were so many things that my parents or teachers forgot to teach me and I was left to figure them out on my own.

I’ve watched the past year and a half as my peers in all grades of college, as well as young adults across the world, have shared their adult life struggles: from doing laundry, tying a tie, and doing dishes properly, among many other things. I never noticed how much help I had from my parents until I was away from them, and many young adults in my age group express feeling the same way. I remember wishing, as a freshman, that there was some sort of guide that could help me navigate these small tasks that felt too embarrassing to ask about. I mean, what 20 year old wants to admit they don’t know how to do their own laundry.

Just over a month ago, New England was hit with a huge winter snowstorm. Being from a small west coast town, I had never seen so much snow. Although the roads were looking dismal, my roommate and I were desperate to get to a grocery store. We trudged through the many inches of snow in soaking socks and flimsy boots until we finally reached the car, completely buried under a blanket of sparkling snow. We breathlessly climbed into the car after shoveling for what felt like hours, and we turned on the ignition. When my roommate put the car in reverse and stepped on the gas, we could feel the wheels spinning but there was no movement. Luckily, we remembered a little something called four-wheel drive, the saving grace of our afternoon, and we were able to make it to the store in good spirits.

The real problem came a week later when the snow melted. Again, my roommate and I decided to go to the store and we hopped in the car and started driving through campus. My roommate immediately declared that something was wrong with the car. It took us way too long to realize that the car was still in four-wheel drive. Proud that we figured out the issue, my roommate moved to put the car back in two-wheel drive, but the gear stick would not budge. We both tried with all of our strength to pull the gear stick back into two-wheel drive, but it still wouldn’t move. We turned to the internet for help, and after watching several youtube videos while sitting in a random parking lot, we finally figured out how to put the car into neutral before switching gears.

The triumph I felt over changing the gear of a car, something so simple, was enormous. As we drove away, I wondered how many other people my age would deal with the same issue, or if it was just my roommate and me who didn’t have what felt like secret information. Another time, in the common room of a freshman dorm, we heard someone stressing out about whether or not her clothes would shrink if she washed them in cold water.

I write this in the hopes that other young adults who feel the same way, know they are not alone. Why is adulting so hard? I suppose everyone feels like a novice at some point in life, and realizing that is okay is perhaps the biggest accomplishment we can make.