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The dating scene is really cutthroat these days :/

Plan A Murder And I'll Tell You How Your Next Relationship Is Going To End

First things first, who are you murdering?

Good choice! Now pick a weapon

Who's your accomplice?

Oh no— something went horribly wrong! What happened?

How are you planning to destroy the evidence?

Your strategy didn't work and you got caught! What's your defense in court?

You're found innocent! What do you do next?

One final question... do you regret it?

You're a Star Trek fan, but they prefer Star Wars. You like BBC Sherlock, and they like CBS Elementary. You'll never agree about Supernatural. Your friends tell you it'll never work, but you've read enough enemies-to-lovers fanfiction to know better. Unfortunately for you, your friends were right, and you break up while watching Captain America: Civil War.

white red and black mickey mouse plush toy

Fandom Arguments

"What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."

This joke marks the beginning of the end. After that, your relationship has more in common with a calendar than anything else: it's days are numbered. Your relationship has more problems than a math test, and while you originally had chemistry, most of your current interactions either end up becoming volatile or just don't get a reaction. Fortunately, you're good at basketball— you'll rebound quickly.

Dad Jokes

Neither of you are particularly big on communication, and you get embroiled in Shakespearian levels of drama over petty misunderstandings on a weekly basis. One day, you ask them to pass the hot sauce, which they interpret as a slight about the shirt they're wearing. You get into a screaming match, they storm out of the house, and you never speak again.

Epic Misunderstanding

That's right... the person you murdered was your partner the whole time! Maybe you knew that already, or maybe this was a tragic case of mistaken identity. If I may offer you a piece of advice for your next relationship: Good partners murder each other; great partners murder other people together.

Murder

You were lucky enough to date one someone you were already friends with, which works out great until you and your best friend get into a fight and stop talking to each other. Your friend group gets split down the middle, and since your ex-best-friend was technically your partner's friend first, they win custody. Next time, cut out the middle man, and just date your best friend.

Breakup (But Not With Them)

Sure, maybe it's a little weird that your partner can't leave the house in the morning without checking their horoscope, but other than that, things seem normal. One day though, they sit you down and tell you that six different psychics said your relationship was doomed. Nothing's really the same after that.

The Universe Said It Was Over

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Plan A Murder And I'll Tell You How Your Next Relationship Is Going To End

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