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Oh, your baby made some cooing sounds? That's cute!
Your baby can't even skate. How embarrassing!
Your baby thinks you disappear when you cover her eyes.
Your baby is still figuring out how to use her thumbs.
YOUR BABY CAN'T SWIM.
(See above.)
Your baby is still struggling to understand even the most basic of English.
Your baby can keep her balance about as good as a drunk during an earthquake.