These Valentine's Day Stories Prove That It's Maybe The Worst Day Of The Year
"I was stood up and then ended up watching 'The Vagina Monologues' with my dad and stepmom."
1. The family burlesque show.
"When I was 16, I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house over Valentine's Day weekend. He's very interested in theater and I love dance so on Valentine's Day night, they took me to a burlesque show. They didn't know what a burlesque show was until the women started stripping naked. So I spent Valentine's Day sitting next to drunk old men yelling profanities while uncomfortably watching women strip down to pasties and thongs, all while my conservative aunt and uncle whispered that my parents didn't have to know about this."
2. The newly dumped airport chauffeur.
"My boyfriend at the time told me he was moving back to the U.K. to marry his ex-girlfriend. They had been sleeping together and decided that they were soulmates. He also told me they both needed a ride to the airport to catch their flight."
—Dani Bell-Jack, Facebook
3. The gentle robbery.
"I had a date with this guy and we took walk around the park. I was thinking to myself, 'Hmmm he is pretty cool, and kinda cute.' All of a sudden, these guys cornered us and took out knives. The next thing I knew, my date pushed me against them and ran as if he had a rocket inside his ass. The robbers looked at each other and then at me and I know they were thinking, 'Dude, what a shitty date.' They took out my wallet (very gently, I gotta say), and took just the cash. I walked home and saw my date, who said, 'Sorry, I just got a new iPhone and it would have been a shame if they had taken it from me.' Needless to say, it was our first and last date ever."
—Enrique Clr, Facebook
4. The unintentional threesome.
"My girlfriend and I came down with the flu on Valentine's Day and spent our day puking after having gone to work that day. I still made chocolate-dipped strawberries and a fancy dinner, but neither of us could eat it. We went to bed only to be woken up by a guy who had drunkenly made his way into our apartment, buck naked, and decided to pee on our bed. With us in it."
5. The relationship-ending chili.
"I was dating a guy for about a month or so. He was a vegan and I wasn't. We went to see a midnight showing of the movie Valentine's Day. We got out around 2 a.m. and went to Steak 'n Shake (the only restaurant still open) and proceeded to argue in the middle of the restaurant over the fact that I ordered chili that contained beef. He ended up walking home and we never spoke again. Dat chili doe…"
6. The finalized divorce.
"My finalized and official divorce papers arrived in the mail... maybe it was the best Valentine's Day?"
7. The D&D disaster.
"This happened to a friend of a friend of mine. It was a typical Valentine's Day, they had the romantic dinner, then went back to her place for… 'dessert.' As soon as he 'finished,' he goes, 'Well, gotta go.' As he's getting dressed, she asks him where he's going. He looks at her like she grew a second head and just says, 'It's game night.' Yup. Ditched her right after the sex to go play D&D with his buddies."
8. The worst night at the theater.
"I was stood up and then ended up watching The Vagina Monologues with my dad and stepmom."
9. The dirty, dirty cheater.
"We had been together for about five months and he had a whole night planned for me. Then, an hour before he was supposed to pick me up, he texted me to break up with me. With my makeup done and hair curled, I went to his house to give him back his shit and found him in bed with my sister. I then took his credit card, went to a fancy restaurant downtown, and bought drinks for the whole bar."
10. The bloody Valentine.
"Once, a friend set me up on a blind date for Valentine's Day. The guy was nice and we were having a fun time at the restaurant, but all of a sudden, my period came. I tried to excuse myself, but he was telling a story that apparently just couldn't wait. So I shifted in my seat while he talked for another 10 minutes, and finally I raced to the bathroom. Unfortunately, I left a little trail of blood all the way across the restaurant. Not to mention it had gotten all over the seat. My date apparently couldn't stand to be around blood, so he threw up on the floor before stumbling out of there. We never went out again, and I never went to that restaurant. Ever. Again."
11. The sad cat lady.
"My 19-year-old cat had to be put down on Valentine's Day. I didn't have a boyfriend or anyone who could go to the emergency vet with me, so I took her by myself. I'd had her since I was 8 years old, so I was understandably distraught. While I was in line crying and waiting to settle my bill, a woman behind me asked if I was OK. I told her my cat had just died. Her response? 'Oh, but it's Valentine's Day. And you're all alone.' I just turned away from her and wept."
13. And just the worst day ever.
"This sounds so stupid, but in the fifth grade, my mom made me wear overalls to school for Valentine's Day and I was mortified. Then, I got really sick at school and had to go home, so I missed out on passing out cards and candy. When I got home, I took a bath and was going to my room to change, but I was weak and dizzy, so I ended up falling over on my bed. My parents walked in on my awkward and maturing body flailed on my bed telling me to come look at my beloved guinea pig, Big Joe. Big Joe was clearly dying, so my dad beheaded him like a goddamned chicken. I couldn't cry because I was so delirious from my fever and medication; I was in shock. Everything happened so fast. Then, at dinner, my brother got ketchup all over my sleeve and that was when I finally lost my shit and cried hysterically."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.