Anger is one of the most complex emotions, and yet it often gets boiled down to a simple frown and yelling.
It's a "bad" emotion, we're told, one that's better to shut down than let creep through in any way. It's mean, it's destructive, it's fiery red. But it doesn't have to be that way. I spoke with four anger experts, and they all agreed: not only can anger be helpful, but acknowledging and expressing it is good. Since there are so many misconceptions about anger, I asked them to break down the basics so we all can understand and handle our uncomfortable feelings a little more productively:
1. For starters, anger is better understood as a signal, rather than an emotion.
2. Which means it's not the big bad monster it's been made out to be by * gestures hand broadly toward everything *.
3. But it's also not good. It just kind of...is, you know?

4. You might be angry and not even realize it.

5. And FYI, being a withholder is almost as bad as, if not worse than, walking around like the angry guy from Inside Out.

6. There is a happy medium between holding it all in and unleashing it with fury...
7. ...and your coping technique might change, depending on whether you're a dumper or a withholder.

8. If you're really mad with someone, there are some steps for gently bringing it up with them in a constructive way.

9. But above all else, be kind to yourself about your anger.
