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    19 Tweets That'll Make You LOL If You've Ever Gotten Married, Been To A Wedding, Or Known Married People

    "I want my wedding catered by the Costco sample people."


    when i get married im gonna send invitations to my enemies that have minus ones on them so they'll know about the wedding but won't be allowed to go


    [inventing wedding dresses] a massive skirt! more skirt! MORE now, put a skirt over her face! god ya that’s the stuff


    Welcome to my rustic wedding, eat these twigs bitch


    *At my future wedding*: "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband" Me to the groupchat: omg do I say yes or is that desperate


    I think the best gift you can give someone for their wedding is a gift with an included, pre-written self-addressed and stamped thank you card


    If you're best man at your mates second wedding, after being best man at the first, is it ok to start my speech with "Welcome back everyone"??


    i obviously meant to shout "I DON'T OBJECT" sorry that i ruined your wedding




    [WEDDING] ME: I do. PRIEST: Could you say it again without the air quotes?


    future husband, @ our wedding: isn't this the best day of your life? me, thinking of the day I first heard Everytime We Touch: it's up there


    JUDGE: You're charged with stealing penguins from the zoo. ME: *lips right on mic* I needed groomsmen for my wedding, your Honor.


    I want my wedding catered by the Costco sample people


    me at 18: i have hundreds of friends i could ask to hang out with me tonight me now: maybe the weird dude who spit on me on the train this morning would like to be the best man at my wedding


    I want my wedding theme to be "logistical nightmare"


    Wedding DJ playing "This Is How We Do It", a song CLEARLY about Friday night, on a Sunday. Egregious


    I live by one rule: when an event photographer (wedding, school, etc) says "now let's take some fun ones" I walk the fuck away


    At the end of my sister's wedding, I released a dozen doves into the sky. That's what she gets for not paying me to watch her doves.


    MY WEDDING: tetris theme plays as i slowly inch down the aisle, trying to perfectly fit my finger in the ring