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22 Things Every Awful Person Does At Panera

"Do you guys just have grilled cheese? Not like a panini, just cheese on the bread, grilled?"

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1. Not understand how bread works.

2. Expect a wide variety of gluten-free options from a place that has "bread" in its name.

3. Or preach lies about gluten.

4. Take things wayyy too literally.

5. Try to cheat the system.

6. Make uncomfortable requests.

7. Lose your will to make a decision, any decision.

8. Not know anything about basic herbs and flavoring agents.

9. Um. Steal???

10. Instantly lose your elementary school math skills.

11. This?!?!!?

12. Use a non-sequitur to justify your political beliefs.

13. Evade a question like a criminal mastermind.

14. Attempt to get *all* of the sides at the same time.

15. Or invent a brand-new type of food right on the spot.

16. Or ask for a menu item that doesn't exist.

17. Pay for your meal with lots and lots of coins.

18. Order something that openly has its price listed next to it and then proceed to get mad about it.

19. Forget that strawberries are, in fact, a fruit.

20. Make the employees magically turn into artists.

21. Completely forget what a sandwich is and what kind of things generally go on it.

22. And refuse to do that thing with your eyes that allows you to take in information, even though you definitely have to do it to order whether or not you look at a kiosk screen.

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