The Bracket You SHOULD Have Made For March Madness
You’re a softy. Don’t be ashamed. Next year focus your energy on knowing the various types of cutest puppies ever. This bracket sponsored by Sparknotes was a fierce race, coming down to two “fuzzy wuzzy” competitors. Make your friends feel badly for hating puppies-and-happiness-in-the-world so that they join this bracket next year. Winner gets a puppy; loser has to take care of it.
There is really no shame if discussing Duke vs UNC pales in comparison to Gyro vs Reuben. Public Broadcasting Services has created a safe space for people like you with their “Sandwich Madness” bracket - updating every day in March with intense match-ups that will leave you drooling.
So you really wasted your time this month following your basketball-obsessed friends. Instead of engaging in arbitrary NCAA conferences, choose your fierce match-ups from 4 magic-driven categories: Princess, Pixar, Classic, and Modern. Study up over the next few months by re(watching) all Pixar and Disney classics so that you are sure to dominate the Ultimate Disney Character Bracket next year.
You enjoy the finer things in life! Embrace it. Instead of engaging in arbitrary NCAA conferences, choose your 64 animals from 4 pallet-driven categories: Just All American, Mostly Spicy, Mostly Asian Stuff, Etcetera Bracket with Heavy European Accent.
Does is it hurt knowing that THIS bracket was happening the whole time?? “Key shortcuts had a tough battle holding off mouse in the first round while spellcheck cruised past busy season legend paper shredder.” If these words get your heart racing, then you definitely filled out the wrong bracket this year. Good luck next year! We hear Candy Drawer vs Chipotle rivals only Keyboard Shortcuts and Excel in nail biter status.
Devised every year by a Harvard evolutionary biologist, this Mammal bracket is made for the science-minded (you). Instead of engaging in arbitrary NCAA conferences, choose your 64 animals from 4 data-driven categories: Mighty Mini, Sexy Beasts, Critically Endangered, and Mythical. Next year, convince your friends that this well-researched bracket backed by scientists (and plenty of forums for chatter) is the one to be betting on.